Here with me
by Tears of a Raven
Summary: Poor Integra, her habit's bitting her in the ass, Alucard is acting weird, Seras and Walter are hiding something. the queen orders her a marrige and an heir...
1. Notice

Here with me

This came about one night while I was listening to Sarah Brightman. That weekend my friend drove me nuts allowing me to watch Hellsing. I decided to go looking for fan fics found a few I liked decided to write my own. And here it is based off of two different Sara Brightman songs. Here with me(originally Dido's) and He doesn't see me. But of course don't own Nothing hellsingy so love ya. Review

"Damn the damned rules."

A female voice cursed. She stood within a jail cell staring up out the window into the beautiful dark blue sky alit by the moons pale glow. The woman was dressed in her usual tan business suit. She crossed one arm under her breast as the other sat against it holding up a cigar to her mouth. She was lucky they allowed her the small pleasure of cigars. Today was her last day within the cell. She would be allowed out to go back to her business. She had been stuck there six months for crimes Hellsing did not do.

"You sacrifice it all...for nothing."

A too familiar voice mocked from the shadows. The woman closed her eyes and took a drag on her cigar. She knew all to well who the voice belonged to and was in no mood to deal with the owner. She opened her eyes once more to continue staring out the window. It was almost time to leave.

"I am in no mood to compare philosophies with the likes of you."

The woman breathed. She placed the cigar back within her mouth and turned to looked at the cell door. The voice called back again in the same taunting voice she hated.

"Oh but I am. Tell me master, _Sir Integra Windgates Hellsing _why do you bother with such petty fools such as the Queen? All they do is reap from your doings and live in heaven as you yourself rot here in this hell hole."

"Alucard I have told you once and I shall tell you no more. Leave my presence now!"

Sir Integra raised her voice to Alucard, her faithful servant, pet vampire. Alucard tipped his hat and bowed.

"As my master wishes."

And with that he sunk into the shadows to be gone from her sight. Integra took the last drag upon her cigar as the door opened. She sighed out deeply and made her way out.

The Hellsing building was almost done with all its repairs. The fights it had endured had taken a lot from it. Integra walked into her familiar office and to her imprisonment, her desk. She sat behind it almost ready to kill as she stared at the stack of papers before her. She had a six month break from al the work of being the leader of the Hellsing organization, and now it was her timeless end to return to that regular work.

She shifted in her seat as she began to read over papers Walter had placed on her table. She looked at a few then read a few. Soon her eyes began to grow weary of all the reading. She turned slightly to the side drawer and pulled out a silver sleek cigar holder. She pulled one out and reached back into the drawer for a lighter.

Before she could find one a light flashed in front of her. She looked up at the holder. She could see the memorable orange shades under a big red hat. The same toothy grin plastered upon his pale face with his un-ruling hair scattered everywhere as always. Integra placed her cigar to the light then pulled back. With a gloved hand she grabbed the cigar and allowed smoke to slowly emerge from her barely parted lips. The room was a dull white with two big windows. One just before the desk the other on the far right wall directly across from the doorway. Integra looked at that window then returned her gaze to Alucard.

"What is it Alucard."

Her icy tone would send shivers down anyone's spine but not her pet. Not Alucard. Alucard allowed the toothy grin to get bigger as he turned the lighter off and placed it within the inside pocket of his jacket.

"I have just come in to wish you a good night, since this is your first night home, again."

Alucard said as he sat down in the chair before her desk. She took a long drag on her cigar and blew out as her glasses settled with an eerie gleam from the moon outside the open curtain window. She raised a brow then placed the cigar within the ashtray.

"Well then, bid it." Integra said leaning foreword lacing her fingers. "Or was their something more you wanted to add?"

_So she caught on did she? Smart woman. Very smart._ Alucard allowed himself to think. He leaned back allowing his leg to sit on the knee of his other. He placed both arms on the arm rest and he stared at his master. She had deep beautiful icy blue eyes and wonderful platinum blond hair. Her looks where fair and her cross was necktie tightly wrapped around her neck.

Ah, her neck. The one thing Alucard could only wish to bite. To taste that sweet Hellsing blood coursing threw her veins to enter his. How sweet it tasted. Oh he still remembered when he was awoken by her wondrous blood spilling across his face as her young arm was pierced with a bullet. He had saved her that night, and been her protector ever since. Yes, her protector until he, himself was freed from her. That was all he was. A protector bound by powerful alchemy from the family name Hellsing.

"Don't you ever wonder what it would be like, to be dead?"

Alucard asked,

"Not another of your speeches Alucard, spare me. I have and will always say no to your offers. Now leave me be. I have work to attend to. And so do you. I have sent Seras to go explore a supposed Vampire club who have been dragging in humans to slaughter."

Integra said as she picked up another paper. Alucard smiled and stood up. He bowed bade his master a good night and went to investigate the scene. Integra reached for her cigar again and returned to it while continuing to read the paper. Her glasses slowly began to drift from the spot upon the bridge of her nose. She pushed it up while holding the cigar. She reached for the next paper. It was an envelope. She looked at it. She pulled out the inside letter and began to read to herself.

Integra's eyes grew with anger as she read it. Her men were slaughtered, her house crumbled and her life imprisoned for six months for what? For protecting the queen. Now as she read this notice from her, her blood boiled. Oh how she wished Alucard were around to tease him with her hot blood. She threw the paper across her desk and sat up. She was done for the night. Tomorrow she would have very long day.

"Lady Hellsing, I know we have given you time enough but now it is time that you settle down. What shall you do when you become of the age which you cannot get up or move any longer? What will become of your house lady? Who will care and run it while you are gone?"

A man said as he leaned back in the chair. Integra had been called to the knights of the round to talk with them and the queen. She allowed her anger to subside as she thought on what he said. Shadows lurked within the room enough that most of them where covered by the shadow while Integra sat within the light.

An heir is what they were after. Integra was mortal after all and would die leaving behind a child for them to manipulate and mold to become worse then what she was. To become their lap dog, to do their bidding, to be called upon to protect them and get nothing in return. Integra flinched at the thought of her child doing such a thing. Becoming such a thing. She would not allow that to happen. She looked at them with her cool, calm and collected face. Her anger well hid within her.

Integra disliked the idea of becoming pregnant. She despised it even. She waited as they walked amongst themselves momentarily. They all knew Integra was well into her age. She was twenty five and continued to grow older. She would need an heir soon enough for her to nurture to become someone like her and save their asses from the dark forces of vampires and freaks.

"You will be given one more week. If you can not find a man by then, then you shall go to the ball we are holding and meet a few men we think would interest you. Are you ready to except your path Integra Windgates Hellsing?"

It was now the queen who spoke to her. Integra gulped down her anger once more as she folded her hands within her lap.

"And if I can not find a man by myself nor at the ball then what is to be done."

"Then we shall choose. No matter what Integra you will leave with a husband."

The queen stated calm and clearly.

"That is truly unfair. I have been locked within the jail cell I have had no time to search for a man. I still have no time. I do not wish to marry nor do I wish to take on the burden of a child. You know well as I do that those men only want Hellsing not me."

Integra debated with the Round.

"This is not about you Integra. This was never about you. This is about Hellsing and that is all. Do you understand or must I make myself clearer?"

The queen asked. Integra felt the anger rush from her but she fought it back down. She nodded with a 'yes you majesty' and was allowed to leave. Once outside Integra stormed her way to her car. How could she be taken advantage like that? What did the queen mean not about her? She was Hellsing. If it wasn't for her commanding her men, allowing them to die, the queen would have long been dead and Britain burned to the ground and ruled by vampires or creatures of the night. This did include her. She was the one to be married. She was the one who would sacrifice an ear for that damned queen.

Walter opened the door for Integra as she sat down within the car. She crossed her arms and legs as she sat there looking out the window. Oh how she felt she would burst with anger. She reached within her pocket of her suit and drew out from it the silver case. She grabbed a cigar and allowed herself to take a puff. Oh sweet release of tension the cigar brought her. Oh how great it felt. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to relax. She would marry and she would have children. She would raise a fine heir all for the queen. _All for the queen_.

Short chapter no? My boredom after watching and reading Hellsing. Ohhh but it gets more intriguing. Dunno still bored. Alrighty then later. Chapter too...in progress.

Spike


	2. Dying Alone

**Here with me:**

**Dying alone**

...desires...

...longing...

how dreadfully the mind locks away emotions. What lurks within the deepest darkest reaches of ones mind? Fantasies? Desires? Lust? Such human emotions that make us well...human no? If not for these silly emotions humans cling to then what would they be? Vampires! Oh where has all the honor, shivery and pride all gone to...

...Pride...

...Greed...

...Vanity

...Lust...

...Envy...

...Gluttony...

...Wrath...

"Seven deadly sins that plague humanity daring to rid them of their one shot at Heaven. Humph, what a good use is praying now. Most of the sins I have done and still do. One sin is greatest of them all. Oh Integra...how have you allowed yourself to sink so low? You home, you family, you life...it is all an imprisonment. And invisible imprisonment that you yourself can not escape. What is there left for you to do? Die alone? Produce the rightful heir, teach them...then die alone. No one could love you, you racket up whore. A virgin sacrifice maybe. Maybe the great Hellsing line should end with me no?

"Alucard would be quiet happy with that...Alucard... My servant...My pet...My friend..."

Swirl of the glossy burgundy red liquid within the small glass with ice.

"The great highness wants...commands me to marry before the end of this week. Why? To have someone to guarantee to be there and save her ass. The creatures that go bump in the night...oh how I love to bump back. Hm...all the men I sacrificed for her. All the people who died for her. For one person...for me. All for me. Am I cursed farther dearest? Is that why my heart cries in sorrow of this lonesomeness? Are you happy your daughter has become a lifeless android bent on riding the world of the damned race known as vampires?

Swish of the alcohol down the throat. The stinging sensation cools down the nerves and the boots fly on the desk and the hair goes everywhere. Integra leaned back in her chair the office only lit by a dim light.

"My light..."

Integra stared at the small candle that lit her room. She took a small glance at it then reached over.

"Will..." a hand being placed over the light..."soon go out." The candle is now gone and the only thing keeping the room a lit is the gleam from the glass that is partially still opened to barely expose the white beautiful light of the moon. Integra placed a hand to her chest remembering seconds...minutes...hours earlier when she returned from the Round.

**Two hour earlier**

"That nerve...the queen...who the hell does she think she is!"

Integra swore as she stormed into the front door slamming it opened. She walked quickly and angrily toward the stairs. Seras was coming down when she spotted Integra. She had a gloom look on her face that soon seemed deathly paler then ever before. The cold icy look within Integra's eyes caused her to back up and allow her to storm right past her.

Integra gripped the handle to the office door and swung it open. She walked in closed the curtains, lit the candle and went straight for the liquor cabinet. There was a knock on the door. Integra didn't turn nor did she stop looking for the heaviest, strongest drink she could find to calm her nerves.

"Go away Walter!"

Integra shouted. Walter sighed. Some how this all reminded him of when she would become angry as a small child. He nodded and left the side of the door. Integra grabbed a thick looking red liquid and pour it into a cup. She down it all in one gulp. She grabbed It and allowed it to slide down her throat burning, stinging and choking her the entire way down. Integra slammed the cup down and looked at her desk. There was an opened big vanilla envelope on it. She was even madder now that someone had gone through her mail. She walked over and grabbed it. She had gone to the doctor's not to early before she was let out of jail. They had taken x-rays and she got a physical. She hated paying visits to the doctor so she had them send it to her. No matter how severe it was. She had her own doctors who would deal with anything Mother Nature threw her way.

Integra frowned as she pulled out a paper attached to her X-Rays. She pulled it off and looked at it. Her eyes grew wide as she read it. She felt light headed all of a sudden and she wasn't sure if it was because of the liquor or the paper. She sat down behind her desk and stared at her X-Rays. At first with disbelief but soon she regained her cool calm look and placed them down. She reached into her drawer to find nothing.

"So...you were the one who read it..."

Integra said. She did not need to see Alucard to know he was behind her in his regular trade mark outfit minus the glasses and hat. He walked over to her side and bent down on a knee placing an arm on the arm rest of her chair. Integra stared lifelessly out the window. She couldn't sum it up. Of course she could she just didn't want to. Integra was no fool she got and knew everything from reading the note and thinking of her daily life and habits. She frowned now.

"Will you give me back my cigars?"

Integra said with a hint of irritation in her voice as she turned to looked slightly at her vampire pet. He looked up at her, her glasses sending off that same eerie glare from the small entrance of light in the room. He shook his head and stood up standing exactly where he had been sitting. He leaned foreword placed a hand onto the other armrest completely on the other side of Integra.

"These are the cause of everything and you want another one? You are truly mad Master."

Alucard said. He didn't have his grin, his perky playful attitude. Instead he had a deep concern look upon his face that showed something she had never seen in him before. Emotion. Alucard was actually showing emotion...to her of all people who for so long treated him in different ways. Some days it was the regular 'do as I say and you won't be locked up' and the others it was 'Just do as I say.' But no matter how long and how hard she pushed Alucard he fulfilled his duty in the end. For what? What did Integra ever give him in return but smart remarks and a bitchy attitude?

Integra had thought on this subject many times before. It had been ten years maybe longer since she claimed and found Alucard for herself and the Hellsing Corporation. Threw those ten years plus she had grown to know him. Respect him. And appreciate him. But of course no one ever knew but the two for they had their own communication skills. They did things in a way only_ they_ understood. It was the way their universe worked because of course if anyone was to find out Sir Integra Hellsing actually treated the damned vampire as an equal she was far from sure that the Round and others would change their look upon her. She returned to the note and the X-rays. God so help her. The end of this week to find a husband. God only knows how long till they wanted her pregnant and now..."

"Master,...you are going to do as the doctor said right?"

Alucard looked at her with the same innocent concerned face Integra thought she would never see.

"Why are you concerned about my health Alucard? You would think you would jump with glee for your freedom. Which will come in what did the doctor write? Two to four years? All this waiting Alucard and it's so close to your grasp...can't you feel it..."

"Master..."

Alucard cut into his master's taunting. She looked at him. That evil look in her eye.

"What Alucard?"

She asked wanting, needing to search for her cigars that were once safely within her drawer and now were within Alucard's grasp. Alucard saw her hunger, need for them. Could he allow her slowly kill herself? Did he want to allow her to? Freedom. Alucard waited so long to watch as the blood line of the Hellsing family crumble like a mud rock and his chains let loose and his will to be done. But at what cost? Integra?

"Please do not say such things...master..."

Alucard could no longer look at his master. Integra stared. Was this really her pet Vampire? Her Alucard who seemed distressed and broken upon the floor like a grief stricken puppy? Integra...slowly...daringly placed a hand on his check. Her warm hands met his cold cheek. He was cold. Alucard couldn't look away any longer he looked up at her. She was his friend wasn't she? No matter the tussles they had the verbal quarries, he was her protector and her his master, his friend.

Integra shook her head of her thoughts. Was she truly going mad? Great another beautiful thing to add to the list of things. She sighed and pulled away from Alucard. She stared at the pale grief stricken moon that barely showed through the small crack. Her sigh was a heavy one as she stared at the X-Ray once more. Integra Windgates Hellsing, the best of the best Hellsing. A wonder in her time and to go on...she fought creatures of the night, owned a company, been bitten by a vampire and stabbed her own self to rid herself of the blood. She had been violated by Incognito and to all of that her timeless end...would not come from anything more then her escape. Her love, her cigars.

"Master there is another way..."

Alucard started. He looked at her, his face only inches from hers. He stared at her waiting for her to tell him to continue but she knew exactly what he was dreading upon.

"You are walking on thin ice. Oh hell, do you really think because you put on some concerned act, show, that you are going to get me to let you suck my dry? I am not that easily fooled Alucard."

On edge and as hard as always Integra seemed to be. She was an ice dragon who snapped at anyone who dared defy her. She stared at Alucard now she understood his game. He would not allow his _master_ to simply die out wasting all the precious blood he loves so much, so instead he wants to suck her dry! Ha! Alucard must have taken Integra for a fool for her not to see his perfect scheme. But Integra was not aware that she herself had been the one to play and act the fool.

"Get out of my sight Alucard."

Was all she said as she turned to look away from him. Alucard nodded and disappeared. She felt a sharp pain in her. Her chest hurt as she breathed. Was it the cancer? Or was it...

"NO! Never! Never!"

Integra yelled to herself. She grabbed the bottle and poured herself another drink. She flung the cup across the room and grabbed. then down bottle downing it all. She allowed it too, to fly across the room experiencing the sweet delights before its unseemliness end when it met the wall and shattered.

There she was. She was the bottle who experienced a great pleasure of flying as it soared threw the air, as Integra ruled Hellsing with an iron fist. But soon...the bottle crashed into the wall and shattered. Just like herself. She was crashing in slow motion. Falling from the sky, her wonderful reign so close...to diminishing. She felt her head fall back against the chair as something fell. It was hot against her cool now pale face. She stared up at the ceiling. No one would catch her as she fell. No one. She could see herself easily being on the bottle, her happiness was really never there. She pilled paper work upon paperwork to herself. She never gave into even when she knew the dumb fucks from the Round where even now fucking with her. They had betrayed Hellsing. Fooled it and made a mockery of it. Someone of the Round had betrayed the entire country and no one knew who.

And here, they attempted in breaking her. In doing it again. When Hellsing was attacked Integra bounced back up and fought back with the courage of fifty men. Ah yes, sweet Integra knew how to handle her life in crisis. She knew better then anyone else did. Everyone whether admitting it or not looked to her for answers for she was smart and a great mind.

Lies

Fakes...

IF only the world knew how Integra worked. She was a mindless slave to her won job. She had no time for herself although what she did, did bring great pleasure to the fact that she was the one in command, but other then that...it was pointless. She did it all for the sake of Hellsing, the queen and Britain. It was all for them never her. When did she get a break? Never. When did she sleep soundlessly? Once. The one night she had been thrown into prison. Alone...but not so alone. Alucard had kept her company with small talk after asking her if she wanted to be changed. Of course she declined but he would not leave so they conversed.

Integra could still remember it. The cool dim light of the cell. Alucard behind her staring at the ceiling while she lay on her side and all they did was talk. They talked until she fell asleep. And even then in the morning after feeling as if she had slept wonderfully for in eternity Alucard was still by her side watching...protecting.

"Alucard..."

She allowed his name to slip aimlessly from her lips. Why call his name out? When she didn't even know what he meant to her. Was he a weapon or that true friend who was their beside her threw most...threw it all? Could she had been wrong about his true intentions a while before? That's when she began to indulge herself in more and different alcohols thinking on other subjects her mind had long ago suppressed.

I Am flying higher then the sky,

I can see with a bird's eye,

But as I soon descend,

My heart cries out

It's the timeless end.

Alone I am falling,

Alone I die

It is the fate

To soar a forbidden sky

Poor Integra has to get married, she has to get pregnant she has to deal with Hellsing paper work, maybe a ball, Alucard, Walter and now she had cancer. What else could go wrong? I have ending this at 4:37 am. Because I am bored.


	3. Shadows

**Here with me**

**Shadows**

The night air blew calmly and coldly into the big master bedroom. Upon the beautiful silky white bed, beneath all the silk white covers was Integra. Her glasses were off and her hair draped behind her as she lied on her side. Her chest slowly rose and fell as she breathed. She held the covered tightly over her chin to keep out the cold air and keep in the cool. She slowly rolled over, making a small noise as she went. Her mind was slowly coming back from dream land as she felt a sting of pain. She opened her eyes and stretched her arm above her head. She blinked a few times to get her vision straight but it didn't matter, she couldn't see great anyways.

Integra reached over to grab her glasses off the nightstand beside her bed but when she reached she found nothing. She sat up and tried her hardest to see were her glasses were. She heard a small heave in the corner of the room. She turned her head in that direction. Amazingly there was nothing there, not even a shadow. Without a shadow she doubted that it was who she thought it was.

Slowly rising out of bed Integra looked down. Her foot hit something as she stood. She bent over and picked it up. It was her glasses. _How'd these get on the floor?_ She asked herself as she placed them back upon the bridge of her nose were they settled. She slowly walked to the window. She wrapped her arms about herself to keep her warm. Her feet where bare and her pajama pants where high wad. She sighed as her breath formed crystals on the glass. She stared up at the beautiful moon. How it was so big, so high, so round and beautiful she loved it. Her head had a small ache from the drinking earlier but she was almost accustomed to it. Whenever the Queen, the Round or even her own employees got her pissed she would down it all away in alcohol.

Integra looked down at the floor. Four years was the most the doctor gave her left to live. Her once wonderful escape, the scent of tobacco, the taste of it, it was all going to be her demise. She slowly leaned against the cold glass not caring if the glass seemed like an ice cube. She still leaned against it, her arms still crossed over her chest. She looked back into the room. Shadows filled it and seemed to give off an ominous look, but of course this was Integra Hellsing. She was the one who struck fear in other's hearts. Not the other way around. She stared at a shadow that seemed like a human. She watched it carefully; she allowed her imagination to play with it. She swore she could hear his voice even if it was just a whisper...

_Mater... _the voice called Integra took a step forward and turned quickly to look behind her for she felt cold hands grip her color bone. She turned staring at nothing. Was her there? Was he playing games with her as always had? Or was she just imagining it. Wanting it. Wanting it? Why would she want the likes of that creature around? Because she needed company and at least he was a nice guy to talk to at times. She took a deep heave and returned her gaze to the moon. It seemed so far, yet so close. She smiled lightly at it. She held onto certain memories even if no one else knew.

"ALUCARD! YOU ENGRATFUL BASTARD I Will SEE TO IT YOU ARE LOCKED UP FOR ALL ETERNITY!"

Integra yelled. She slammed her fist hard on her desk as she stared Alucard down with her cold stare. It was her eighteenth birthday and that day Alucard had 'tried' to suck her blood but was only playing a game with her. He sat before her in a chair that was reserved for clients. He crossed his ankles and he leaned back laughing.

"And how will you make sure that would be so true? Would you allow me to drink upon your blood and turn you so you can be certain I will be locked up for eternity?"

Alucard teased. Integra grabbed an ashtray and threw it at his head, the ash within it flying everywhere. Alucard only sat there as it impacted with his skull. It flew right through leaving a hole. But of course Alucard only healed the wound. He smiled mockingly at her once more. Integra growled furiously.

"How dare you turn what I say against me! Get out! Get out!"

Integra yelled. Alucard nodded and disappeared.

"As my master wishes,"

His voice echoed throughout her office. She sat back down in her chair rubbing her temple. What would she do with that man, that beast? What was there to do? Tame him? Likely. That seemed almost impossible even for her. What was she going to do? Today as her eighteenth birthday and the queen wanted her to go to a stupid ball. God how she detested balls and all their little fancy get ups. It was just a way for the Queen to get her to find some smooch and fall all over him but Integra wasn't that type of girl at all. She didn't really look at men. Except for one man, but she pushed that so far out her mind she would need a space rocket to go and find it.

Integra sighed and returned back to her paper work. Oh in a few more hours she would be dressed in a beautiful white gown for she was still a virgin and look spectacular. Yuck! Integra shook her head reached for her cup of tea and returning her attention to more important things.

Oh the ball was such a drag. There was nothing to do and Integra kindly rejected every man who asked her to dance. She crossed her legs and leaned back reaching for a wine glass but her hand was snatched away. Before Integra knew it she was outside. She looked around. She was on the outside veranda of the building they were in. The view was wondrous. The veranda met the high hill behind the building so she could walk off into the nicely cut grass to an outside canopy bell shaped small house. She smiled as she touched the oak of the shelter. Her eyes grew wide in a startle as hands wrapped around her waist and pulled her into an embrace. She tried to turn but was frozen when the cool soft lips of a man touched her neck. She breathed in deeply.

"Do you like it...Master?"

The voice said as a smile crept upon the lips.

"Alucard..."

Integra gasped. She gulped down hard as she tried to look at him. She never expected this. Alucard grabbed her wrist and spun her around like a dance for her to look up at him. He was in a regular black dress button up shirt and black pants held up by a black belt. His hair was combed back and his shades gone. She stared at him in disbelief.

"Alucard...what are you doing here?"

"Here to wish you, master, a happy birthday since I doubt that you've had a good day at all."

Integra thought back to earlier that evening. Yea she had been having a bad day and it started with him! She had awoken to him beside her on her bed and with his arm around her and blood on her neck and his mouth. He really didn't do anything it was a birthday scare and the blood was that of the medicine bags. Integra growled thinking about earlier. She slapped Alucard. The warmness of her palm struck his pale cold cheek. Alucard nodded and smiled looking back at her.

"Master has every reason in the world to be mad at me, but...this might make her feel better."

Alucard reached into his pant pocket and pulled out a necklace. It was a beautiful silver necklace that he held in the box so he wouldn't' burn himself. Attached to it was a silver cross. Integra breathed in.

"Were did you..."

"An old fart bird man told me exactly what to do. Consider this repaying you for dealing with me for these past four years."

Integra watched as Alucard took it out of the box and with stride placed it around her neck and clipped it. He let go and watched as it fell perfectly against her cool tan skin. She looked up at him. He raised a hand to her and bowed.

"Care for a dance?"

Integra gave a small smile and nodded. He brought her outside the shelter to a small patch of cut short grass that was covered over with marble. This was a dance floor they used on outside dances. The music from the inside could be heard this far out and played as if they were inside. Alucard gently placed a hand on her waist and took her other into his. She placed her hand on his shoulder and together they waltzed.

"Do you see the moon?"

He asked. Integra didn't notice until now how beautiful the moon looked. It was so bright and so wonderful it seemed like the sun itself. But of course the sun was so powerful and full of energy it was a wonderful yellow orange, unlike the moon that was sick, a pale with grief. Pale. Integra looked back to Alucard who had been looked up at the moon to. Before he turned to look back down at her Integra stared at him for a moment. He was so pale and so cold...but of course he would be. He was dead after all.

Integra continued to dance with him two more times then she heard Walter call for her. She turned to Alucard who started to walk away. She wanted to call out for him to come home with her since they lived in the same household but she felt the urge not to. If there was something Alucard wanted to do she should allow him to do it and not allow her silly teenage hormones get the best of her. She sighed and returned back to her cold iciness but before she walked away Alucard stopped her.

"If you ever need me Integra," Alucard started. Integra stopped dead in her tracks and listened. She waited for him to continue. "Then look for me in the shadows. I'll always be there."

And with that he was gone. Integra didn't need to turn around to know that. Her hair fell flat against her neck and she didn't feel so cold. But in some odd way she liked it. The feel of the cold. She smiled to herself once more and continued to go look for Walter.

Integra looked at the shadows. She seemed to have wanted to see Alucard there but he wasn't. He wasn't there this time, this night. Instead he was downstairs reading a book before the fire place trying to annoy one of the maids. Integra looked away, her face seemed sadden. In an instant Alucard felt the sudden change in feeling. He smiled bade the maid farewell and disappeared.

Integra pulled herself off of the glass. At least she had some memories to hold onto. Some good memories. She could still remember the look on her father's face as he lied within his death bed. She closed her eyes to try to block the thought out. Her uncle had been so heartless to even try to kill her. Her father knew he would try something like that. Her father knew a lot of things. If only her father knew now. If only he knew the thoughts that ran madly through her mind and how she fought them every day. No matter what, there was always the feeling that shot threw her. Her father must have been turning in his grave to know how she felt.

Integra turned to walk back to her bed when she came face to face with a shadow. She had been used to his little 'ways of showing up' that she didn't flinch. All she did was stand were she was. He looked at her. The glasses were gone, the hat was off and the coat had disappeared. She stared at him now in his beautiful crimson red eyes. He gave a small laugh as he looked at her.

"Have you seen the moon lately?"

She asked. She still had that stone look on her face but Alucard could tell by her eyes she had been reminiscing. He gave that same smile and looked past her at it. It was so huge and round he thought that it was standing out the window. He told Integra this and she couldn't help but smile. Alucard rested and arm on her shoulder as they both gazed up at it.

"Look for me in the shadows lately?"

Integra chuckled now. She leaned against him. Her pet, her servant, her vampire, her friend.

"No need to, you're always here when I need you anyways. Even when I _don't_ need to be pissed off you're around."

It was Alucard's turn to laugh. He turned to looked down at her but when he moved his arm she turned and walked to her bed. She pulled the cover down, her action causing the cool wind to blow against her thin pajamas making her shiver a bit. She sat down and dragged her legs inside the cover with her. She moved to look back at Alucard but he was gone, but not gone from her room.

She lied down removing her glasses and placing them on the nightstand. She rolled over to continue to look at the beautiful bright moon. She felt a cold embrace. Alucard had lied down beside her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Alucard I am not fourteen anymore."

She hissed.

"But you still have the nightmares."

Integra stopped. She had been having nightmares lately. Was he reading her mind again. She had scolded him many times about that. Yet he still did it. She growled under her breath. How easily Alucard could get her mad. If there was a world record for the person to get her mad in the least amount of time Alucard would break the best record. All he had to do was look at her funny or say one word or syllable and she got pissed.

"What have I told you about reading thoughts Alucard?"

"I haven't read your thoughts or anyone's beside police girl."

Alucard said. Integra glanced over her shoulder at him, even with her blurry vision she could see he had his eyes closed and looked so innocent. She had become too used to his usual insane look but his serene look now made her reached back under the cover and wrap her arm around his.

"It's written on your face, your scent, you. Integra I am not those fools you argue with at the Round, or the people you command here. This is me. Your servant, your pet, anything you wish to call me. I am the one who has watched you grow before my own eyes."

He sounded so...unlike Alucard. What happened to the hint of playfulness in his voice? What happened to the once annoyance she once held for him? What happened to Alucard? She was dropped with this sentimental beast rather then a killing insane machine who tried his hardest to get the best out of a fight. Oh she was grateful that the little pet of his was more of a daughter then a lover. She would never hear the end of it night after night. She knew the feelings Alucard got from a good battle, because to be honest she herself felt them at times to.

Integra snuggled against her pillow, even if there was silence between the two, the shadows allowed them to talk until the other fell asleep.

So how'd you like it? Third chapter. Wow I am on a roll! Not really but yea so far they have all been four pages long. Wow I need to either type more or less. Review these, review help me going. If you like it say something about it. If you don't still say something about it! Say your thoughts!

Good day,

Damien.


	4. As My Master Wishes

**Here with me**

**As My Master Wishes**

"I'll be sure to have that swine's head placed on the top cross of the very church he steps a foot in!"

Integra screamed over the phone, and then threw it across the room. He had never seen her so angry in his entire life since he met her. She got up grabbed the phone and pressed the numbers so hard he thought she would beak the phone. She placed it to her ear as she began to pace with her cane. When she wasn't relaxed or in a very, very bad mood she needed the cane to walk because she couldn't walk right under tension.

Integra growled into the phone like the dragon she was. He could hear it within her voice. She was pissed off more then ever and it made his blood boil. It started because of an American guy she had met after leaving the Round. The queen had him brought in because he was the head of some American church that was supposed to be so great at handling vampires. She talked to him earlier that morning and then she got a call from one of the knights of the Round that the guy accepted her off in marriage.

Integra was furious. She had never in her life thought about marrying someone after she took over the business. Some one had planned it all along. And now that the queen thought she was going to marry the guy whom she didn't know his name she was ready to kill. Actually that is what she was going to do had not Walter and Alucard stopped her. Even if Walter himself was not supposed to be handling stress from getting out of the hospital as well.

**An hour before the whole ordeal**

Alucard watch Integra sleep. She seemed so calm and soothed when he was by her side. He smiled as he allowed his finger to slowly slide down her cheek and move a hair from it. How dare her hair try stealing his chance to touch her? He bent down slightly, his face two centimeters from hers. He held in the urge. She was so close! So close!

Alucard lied back down and stared at the ceiling, the nice chandelier hung over head. The curtains to the room were all shut; he left Integra's side only to do that. It was dark inside her room but it was the great darkness. For a while after he lied back down she clung to his chest and he held her, but then she moved and hadn't moved back to him ever since.

Integra groaned a bit as she moved her arms toward the night stand. She grabbed her glasses and tried to put them on right while still lying down. She did it amazingly and sat up. She yawned then looked at Alucard who was under the covers beside her looking up at her. She gave a small smile.

"Thank you..."

She said as she looked down. Alucard looked up at her and raised a brow.

"For what?"

Integra lied back down and stared up at the ceiling. She turned her head moving her hair out of her face. She leaned forward and kissed Alucard on the cheek. She stayed near him though and whispered in his ear.

"For chasing the bad dreams away."

And with that she got up. She walked over to her walk in closet and shut the door.

"I give you five second to be gone Alucard!"

She called out while beginning to get her clothes. Alucard placed a hand on his check and smiled.

"As my Master Wishes."

And with that he was gone. Integra got out of the closet and headed straight for the bathroom.

Coming out the bathroom Integra went straight to her office. She sat down at her desk waiting for her morning tea as she started to go through the paper work. She finally decided to take some papers that needed to be sent down to Walter since he hadn't come up yet.

Integra walked down the hall. She heard a soft murmur coming from within his room. He seemed to be talking to someone. If it wasn't for the all of a sudden pain in her throat Integra would have been able to listen but there it hit. She leaned forward and grabbed her throat. She choked hard on the blood that she felt get caught. She saw it as it splattered on her hand the pain soon began to pass.

Walter opened the door. Integra looked up at him and handed him the papers while trying to see who was in his room. It was Seras. She smiled and waved as she looked back down at the gun Integra guessed Walter was talking to her about. Walter looked at her asking her if she was alright.

"Yea, it's the bloody cancer that's all."

And with that Integra made her way back to her office. She sat down. She laced her fingers before her. She no longer looked anywhere but out the window. It was bright, the sun was slowly coming down, yet it was only ten A.M. She sighed. Her phone rang. She looked at it then answered it.

"Hellsing."

She said into the phone.

"It is good to hear about you great news. We are happy you decided to marry the man. He told us all about it when he came in. He said you were so eager to do so."

The voice said.

"I'll be sure to have that swine's head placed on the top cross of the very church he steps a foot in!"

Integra screamed over the phone; then threw it across the room. He had never seen her so angry in her entire life that he knew her, She got up grabbed the phone and pressed the numbers so hard he thought she would beak the phone. She placed it to her ear as she began to pace with her cane. When she wasn't relaxed or in a very, very bad mood she needed the cane to walk because she couldn't walk right under tension.

Integra sat back down. Her chest heaved as she looked up at the ceiling. This was his moment, his chance to move in, Integra closed her eyes tightly. How did she allow herself to get involved in this mess. She reached for the phone.

"I gave given up. I will just call them...tell them they won..."

"Don't do it."

Alucard said as he placed his hands on her shoulders. Integra gulped down hard. The tension returned and she threw the phone once more. She got up and looked at Alucard as she leaned against the desk.

" I am sure you have good intensions for being here and thank you for stopping me from my idiocy but what is it you want Alucard?"

Integra crossed her arms and looked at him. Alucard gave a weak smile and approached her. He opened his arms on either side of her so now his body was inches from hers. He looked straight into her eyes. His face was so close. Integra just stared at him. Nothing stirred and there was no change in emotion or desire. She just stood there.

Alucard new Integra was an impatient woman so he'd have to be quick about what he said with the true full meaning. He didn't have enough time to even think about. He'd say it as bst and fast as possible.

"Master, I have watched you for more then ten years now..."

"Well of course Alucard, I am sure the whole damned Hellsing Corporation knows you've stalked me since I found you."

Ouch. Strike one for Integra. She looked at him. Alucard could tell her patience was growing thin. It was now or never. He wouldn't turn back now no matter how much it hurt, if it even did. He took in a deep breath.

_Wow he can breathe? I didn't think he could. Maybe he's just doing it to show he can. Humph. _Integra thought as she stared at him. She watched as he shifted before her. She was about ready to shove him off and leave to try to get some rest but he started talking again. She just wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad thing that he did.

"I know you better then any one else even Walter, and yet...you ...hate me more then everyone else."

Alucard looked at her.

"You get on my bloody nerves more then anyone else. Get on with the point Alucard!"

Integra was really losing patience now. Alucard pulled back a bit more.

"Deny me all you wish of those few pleasures of being able to taste that sweet Hellsing blood but please Integra, master...do not deny me this one thing."

Alucard seemed he was on the verge of something. Tears? No never not Alucard the undefeatable best of the best vampire/vampire killer. Integra stood back and watched as Alucard grew bolder. He came close. He so close to her...

"Believe me or not...but Sir Integra, but... I...the Nerfatsu Alucard have... become infatuated with you. Please do not deny me...I have been you loyal servant for so long. This is not for freedom, for revenge, this is all for you Integra. You and you alone. "

It was Integra who breathed deeply now. She couldn't' look at him. Not at Alucard. What was he saying? Why wasn't it making any sense to her? Was it her mind that was telling her he was speaking another language? She felt her head begin to hurt once more. Oh this week was so long so hard. She leaned back further to regain her stamina she turned back to Alucard. She couldn't take it.

"Get out."

Integra's cold words struck like holy purified silver stakes being stabbed straight threw him. Alucard looked at her shocked.

"But master..."

"Alucard get out! Get out! Get out of my sight! I don't want to look at you anymore. LEAVE!"

Alucard took a step back. Her words were so heartless, on fire even. They tore threw him. Alucard look at her. Was this really _his_ Integra?

"Why are you still here you damned bastard I said leave! Alucard I command you to leave!"

Alucard saw the tears in her eyes now as she lashed out at him swinging at him trying to get him to leave. She cursed his name; she cursed him as she cried. She turned from him. She could not let him see her cry. Not now, now ever. She was not weak! She proved that to him so many years ago.

"LEAVE!"

"As my master wishes."

And with that Alucard disappeared. Integra fell to her knees and slammed her fits on the ground.

"Bastard..."

She muttered as the tears streamed down her face.

My friend proof re this and she cried. I don't; see why. Oh but I do feel bad for them both. Wait till the next chapter, you'll find out a little more about Alucard's feelings and why Integra won't accept them. Until then, Adu, adu


	5. Loving the Prey

**Here with me**

**Loving the Prey**

Integra grabbed at her chest as she fell to her side and lied there. She curled into a tiny ball and allowed the tears to fall down her face. How could she go on now? How could she not go on now? There were so many things she wanted to do, but even now she may never get the chance. What about Alucard...about what he said. He was infatuated with her. He liked her, he loved her. NO! NO! NO ONE COULD LOVE HER!

_I die alone...no one deserves to fall with me to hell. Father how I have failed you._ Integra cried. She allowed stress and her tears to get the better of her. She allowed her now tangled hair to cover her face as she tried to sink low into her office floor. She ended up crying herself to sleep.

"Master what seems to be the matter?"

Seras asked as she stepped out onto the balcony where Alucard sat. He sat on the railing staring up at the moon. He loved the moon. The moon reminded him of so many great things that had happened in his life. He looked over his shoulder at Seras.

"I'm sorry."

He said. Seras was a little taken a back. She looked at him.

"For what master?"

Seras stood there. Alucard took his gaze from her and returned to the moon. He already hurt someone tonight how could he bring himself to hurt another. He sighed.

"What is the point of being a Vampire if you have to spend eternity alone?"

Alucard laughed.

"I can't be the master you want so Seras. Keep Pip with you forever. I am sure he'll be the one to keep you company."

Seras felt a certain ting of relief but then she also felt a pain. He was freeing her from being his servant. His pet. She looked at him. She placed her hand over her heart thinking of Pip. She smiled at that thought. She looked up at Alucard who held kind eyes. They were soft, gentle and cold. They seemed hurt. She had never seen his eyes like that before. She knew they weren't for her either. She knew they were for Integra.

"I'm sure she'll tell you yes one day...Alucard. Then neither of you will spend eternity alone."

Alucard smiled at that thought. His black mess of a hair covered one eyes as he leaned his head against the wall which the railing was connected to. He thanked Seras. He knew she could tell way before that he had feelings for Integra, and now she could tell he told her of those feeling and didn't get the response he wanted. He jumped off the railing and went for a walk.

Integra awoke in her bed. She was in her pajama's and her glasses were neatly placed on the nightstand. It had gotten dark since when she fell asleep. She looked out her window. She expected to see the giant moon there but instead she saw a shadow. She rolled over trying to pretend she was asleep. She couldn't bare the thought that she had yelled at Alucard like that. She pulled the cover over her. She wanted to sink so far into the bed; she never had to see anyone again.

Alucard turned to feel his master stir. He gave a small smile as he began toward her. Immediately Integra felt herself tense as she heard his footsteps. Was he the one who had dressed her and placed her in her bed? Was he still that kind to her after she was so cruel to him?

Alucard stopped at the side of her bed. He looked down at the lump. Her hair was the anything showing from it. He sat himself down beside her. She didn't move or do anything. She lied there trying to tell herself it was all a dream. He hadn't confessed his feelings; she hadn't been so cruel to turn him away. Nothing happened. He was still just her servant, her pet vampire and that was all...that was not all.

"Integra..."

Alucard said as he lied himself down now. Integra if not already frozen would have become Antarctica. She all of a sudden felt her entire building melt under him. She couldn't help it. It just rushed over her body. Alucard wrapped his arm around her and brought her close. Her back was pressed firmly against his chest. She felt his grasp on her. Should she yell at him? No she couldn't risk that. Should she just allow him to hold her the way he did? She didn't enjoy it...did he?

_Get a hold of yourself Integra! You're a Hellsing and he's a vampire! Don't fall for it now! This is no Romeo and Juliet; he only wants to turn you! _Her head yelled at her. _ Shut up! He's the only man besides Walter to ever show me kindness. He is the reason I go on. He gives me my strength he..._What on Earth was she saying. He gave her, her strength? Had she truly gone mad? She couldn't take it any longer. She yelled to herself in her head. She grabbed a pillow from under her hitting Alucard in the head with it.

"Oof!" PLOP! There go the sheets. Integra sat up. She couldn't see but she knew very well what happened. So unlike Integra she smiled and laughed. She didn't give the 'you're gonna die now' laugh or smile, but a true smile and laugh. One of those that she could only share with Alucard. When she hit him in the head with the pillow it caught him on surprise and since he was so close to the edge he fell over it taking of course a few more pillows and the sheet that covered her.

Integra looked over the side at the bed while reaching for her glasses. She placed them on her nose as she looked at Alucard. He lied on the floor on his back still stunned on what just happened. Integra laughed. Alucard now back in reality realized the event. He smiled and flung a pillow at her. Integra saw this and ducked. She went back over the edge with a bigger pillow.

"Ungrateful mutt! How dare you throw a pillow at...OoF!" Pillow to the face. Alucard jumped back on the bed and got her right in the mouth with a pillow. He guided her down and stared at her. She looked up at him and smiled. She pulled the pillow away and smacked him with it once more. It was either the pillow, or the butt of the gun. The gun was too far so she stuck with the pillow.

"About earlier, it was uncalled for."

Integra said. Alucard looked at her. It was quiet now.

"No need master, it's alright."

"And about right now! How dare you touch me without my consent!"

Integra was back. If the gun hadn't been so far and Alucard sitting on her dagger under her pillow she could have killed him by now. Alucard stared at his outraged master who was waiting for a replay. He stared at her eyes. How deeply blue they were and seemed like ice. He could imagine her now, as a vampire. Her eyes would be red, fangs bared and her body burning. She wouldn't be a frozen ice dragon anymore. She never really was that. A dragon maybe but not of ice. She seemed more on fire when she was cold hearted, when she yelled. Yes her burning blue pits of fire and ice. That's what he saw now.

Her eyes held everything. Alucard saw clear as day the burning fire for Hellsing. Her passion for her household no matter how much it weighed her down. He saw she would marry to make the queen happy and give birth to a child, because that was her duty as a Hellsing. It didn't matter how hard she was pushed, no matter how unfair it was. It was her duty and she was to fill it out at all costs. Alucard loved it all. She was so brave, so courageous, proud and ready to do anything for her duty. She was perfect. She would be beyond perfection as a vampire. She would have the world at her grasp. Why did she not take the offer?

Proud Hellsing blood. She would never allow Alucard to taint her with his blood. How he wished she did but then again, her often 'no's and 'shut up Alucard I have no time for this' were what made him want her more. They drove him mad and made him persistent.

"Is it a crime to take my chances?"

He asked.

"So if you had your chance to drink my blood you would?"

He saw he was adding fuel to the fire.

"Not without your consent."

"SO HOW IS TOUCHING ANY BETTER! YOU SWINE!"

Pillow to the head once more. Alucard only laughed. She saw this. Oh he was the best at getting her angry even in a sentimental moment. She lunged forward to grab the dagger and stab the shit out of him. (Purified dagger of course) Alucard grabbed her. She was taken a back and then it happened.

Alucard placed her below him. He was on top now. He stared at her, red burning eyes to blue burning eyes. Integra regained her thoughts and yelled at him to get off. He disobeyed and came closer. Their noses were now touched. He stared down at her. He could take her now. She would never have to worry about the stupid things humans worried about. She would be immortal, she would be perfect. It was no longer for the Hellsing blood. Fuck the Hellsing blood. All he wanted was her, her being, her soul, her love.

"Alucard what in the flaming pits of hell do you think you are doing? Get off!'

Integra thrashed below him. Alucard stopped her though. He spoke in a whisper almost, a clear thought whisper that seemed like water; smooth and cool.

"Integra, you are perfection at its highest. You are the proud and by far the best Hellsing ever had, even if you don't think so. I have lived through almost three generations of Hellsing, and so far you are the best. Your father should be proud. I am proud. I have watched you since you were a little girl and you still are that little girl to me. Full of wonder and pride. You would make a perfect vampire. WAIT! Don't take that wrong. Don't deny my offer without knowing why I have asked of if."

"Blood lust."

Integra's one word caused a chill up his spine. Oh...how he would kill to experience that with her, his master. Ohh...the feelings, not only for him but her. But no! If he was to clam her he would clam her with love, not blood hungry need to mate. He would not allow it he would fight it back. Even if he never got a chance to be with her, he could still dream.

"No. I want for us to be together forever. You deny yourself simple pleasure for the sake of that dammed queen. You deny yourself for her. You sacrifice it all for what? To be commanded that you marry and produce and heir whether you love the father or not? I know you'll do it no matter what. For Hellsing. But think about this. If I were to mix my blood with yours...if we were to become one...you would not need to marry someone you don't want to, you would not _need_ to produce if you don't want to. You could forever rule over Hellsing..."

"And what of you? You would be free. That proud Hellsing blood I had would all up and leave me. The bond would break and you could go forever on to manipulate humanity as you see fit."

Integra tried not to look at him but she couldn't help it. He always asked it. No matter what he asked her to become a vampire. Did he want his freedom that badly or was she just not listening correctly? Alucard resisted the urge. He could take her now. His little girl who he loved. She would not only be the No Life Queen, not only a child that he created, she'd be his lover. His equal. His blood turned at their closeness. Just one kiss upon those lips. Just one chance to prove his love. He knew Integra. If he were to take his chance now and kiss her it would be over. She would push him off and chase him out of her room with so many blessed silverware that he would need to sleep a week to recover.

He smiled at that thought. She feared nothing. Not even him. No matter how evil he seemed since she was a little girl she showed him that power that she would not back down, especially from a vampire, tall handsome and scary who just slaughtered a group of men or not. She would now back down. He loved that spark of fire. He couldn't deny himself could he? Or would he do the same as Integra and lock himself into a shallow shell.

"Even with the Hellsing blood no longer coursing through your veins I would be bound to you. The only reason I want to do this is to be bound to you. No masters. No chains, just a bond that we share, that we've shared for as long as I can remember. For us to be together as Equals. To live eternity out forever and together."

Before Integra could protest against it he kissed her. His soft smooth lips lay upon hers. For a few second it caught Integra off guard. She was short in breath and closed her eyes allowing it. But now she was aware of what he was doing. She felt his arms snake around her as he deepen the kiss. His tongue sliding deeply into her mouth tickling the roof of her mouth. She shuttered beneath him. What was he doing? He had some nerve. Oh when he stopped she would surely stab him. She would rip out his heart and make him re eat it. And knowing Alucard he would do it.

Integra regained her arms back as she placed her hands on his chest. She allowed them to roam until she found a good spot. With a thrust she pushed him off of her but not far away. She was about to yell at him to get out as she reached for the dagger but he was upon her once more. He threw the dagger to the wall allowing it to slice into it and get stuck. He stared down at her. Integra was about to yell at him but he pulled away. He rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling.

"I could never break a promise, my loving prey."

Integra stared at him. What did he mean break a promise? Was he talking about the seal to the Hellsing family? No it was something between the two. It was nothing having to do with the family. Just the two.

It was quiet that day. Nothing new and no one special to hunt down. Walter had gone out to a private met that he refused to allowed Integra to know about. She lied on her bed, arms stretched out and legs wide open. She had just thrown herself onto the bed. She didn't really care. The sun was at sunset and it was beautiful. She stared at it as she sighed. She was nineteen turning twenty soon. There was nothing to do anymore. The vampires troubling the country side were taken out thanks to Alucard and herself. She had gone through at least two weeks paper work she wasn't to sure. She knew she would be bored for a while until Walter returned with more papers.

It was to tiresome any ways. She felt hot and she still couldn't figure out how to work the air. She sighed and got up. She walked toward the bathroom and turned on the bath water plugging up the bath. She turned and locked the door then walked back to the water. Slowly she began to take off her articles of clothing throwing them to the "waste' basket. She slowly slipped into the water turning off the faucet. She allowed the cool water to brush against her skin. She sat up and covered her breast with her hair. Reaching over Integra grabbed her book and a gun. The gun she placed by the bar of soap. The book she opened to begin to read. She was thankful the water was not hot unless her glasses would steam and she would fight to keep them from doing so.

Integra felt the familiar cold presence. She grabbed her gun and looked at the wall while crossing her legs. A black shadow appeared as Alucard popped his head threw the wall. He had a stupid grin on his face as he did so.

"Hello master are you bu...WOAW!"

Alucard ducked. The gunshot was fired right at his head. He realized she was naked and decided to leave her. Actually he knew he just was playing games with her. She was used to it by now. There where a lot of things a person would have to get used to when Alucard was around, and with that fact that she was a woman, there were a lot more things.

Integra growled as she stalked up the stars to her office. She carried with her, her gun still. She was in her regular suit trying to relax and think of other things but Alucard would not leave her alone. He barked at her, he toyed with her. She was going to blow his brains out the next time she saw him. The next time she did see him he grabbed her threw the gun away from her and placed her over his shoulder. She growled at him as he did so.

"PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT ALCARD!"

She yelled. He only laughed. He made his way to her room. Once he was within it he threw her on the bed. She stared up at him angrily but Alucard was not paying any attention to her. He was watching something outside. He turned back and threw the gun at Integra. He wasn't sure if that was a smart thing to do.

"We have a visitor."

He said. Integra rose from her bed and stood beside him. Three vampires ran threw the courtyard with neither great speed yet being detected by guards or the security system. Alucard looked at Integra and raised a brow. She stared at them. Her eyes glowing. How dare they come to her home to destroy her? _How dare they?_ She growled to herself.

"Shall we bid them good night?"

Integra looked at him,

"Permanently. I want to see if a vampire can rise from the dead twice!"

Alucard felt something in him. He loved this side of her. Evil sadistic blood hungry Integra who's only mission was to seek and destroy all vampires. Gladly Alucard took her into his shadow and they were outside. She loaded her gun with the silver coated bullets. She pulled the safety off and stood beside Alucard. A vampire swooped beside them. She laughed.

"So who dares to step foot upon Hellsing Property?"

She asked. There was a small laugh as a vampire emerged. She was tall and very beautiful. She smiled and approached Integra. Alucard hid in the background trying to see how well his master did. The woman laughed an evil hissing laugh as she bared her fangs, her jaw dropped very low.

"You're the great killer Integra Hellsing? Ha! I could break you in two right now! Or should I wait. Yes I should. I should torture you, drink you dry and make you my ghoul. Oh I would be the envy of so many. Then we could rule over London!"

"You talk to much."

Integra said. She raised her gun and shot the vampire in the head. It fell to the ground gave a great cry and became dust into the wind. Integra not even watching fired to her side. A vampire jumped out of no where at her. But as that one died one came from behind her and took her down. Alucard stepped in now. He kicked the vampire off her. He turned to Integra. She was getting up her eyes on fire. She loaded the gun. Alucard moved and gripped the male vampire by his balls. He cried out no. Alucard laughed as he pulled. Blood spurted from the vampires as Alucard broke his legs.

Integra came up behind Alucard her gun readied. She stared down at the handicap demon. Her eyes were just as much on fire as Alucard's. She pointed her gun straight at the vampire's head and shot four times. The vampire cried out and became dust once more. Alucard stood beside hi master. He smiled as he looked at her. He was proud to be _her_ pet.

"Alucard you pull a stunt like that again and I will personally full you with silver coated bullets to the point you'll have so many holes it'll take months to regenerate you! You hear me!"

Integra yelled at him. Alucard watched her. He had grown so much before him.

"I promise to stick by your side for eternity blood or not." Alucard started. "I'll always be by your side." Integra was shocked for a moment. Did those words just come out his mouth? She stood there a bit dumbstruck. She then nodded and told him he better be to it too. He laughed then raised a brow again and looked at her devilishly.

'So did my ripping that guys balls off excite you?"

"WHAT! ALUCARD! YOU INSOLET LITTLE PUP! I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU WISH YOU NEVER TANGOED WITH THE HELLSIGN FAMILY! GET BACK HER!"

Integra fired rounds off at Alucard as he went dashing down the courtyard again. Yup he was back. Even if for a moment he seemed completely different then his every day self, he was back once more. And Integra was glad...

"To stick by my side for eternity, blood or no blood."

Integra placed a finger to her lip as she spoke. She thought about what Alucard had said. Did he really mean everything? Everything since when she was just a child, or had he been plotting something from the very beginning. She knew he had been infatuated once before with his former wife that much was all she knew about his infatuations. There was nothing more for her to ponder on. Could a monster really love? The only thing that made her think about her answer was that if she did take his offer, did become a vampire she could forever reign over Hellsing. She would ensure that the queen and her decedents forever live. She decided she was tired with living.

Human emotions. She would loose those wouldn't she? Seras didn't seem to be low on that, she clung to them. And then there was Alucard. Alucard confessed affections for her. If he did that from his cold dead heart then that meant he still had emotions. It had been two days since she visited the queen on Monday, tomorrow she would be down to less them a week to decide. What would the Round do if she where to walk in saying she found her husband and tell them she married a vampire? It could by a chance, that it would be a lot easier to get them to side with humans and destroy their kind...but what about after they are done?

Vampires. Alucard, Seras...they were vampires. Her trusted company and they were that which walked the dead. What would she do? Was there anything she could do? They would die after the vampire race was wiped out. And then if she did take his offer, if she chose to total eternity would she end up dieing. No...she wouldn't die. She would be hated. Hated for what she was, what she would be. Integra shook the thoughts from her head and stared at Alucard. He had his eyes closed now. He just lied there. She had to admit he was handsome. But...he was a monster. He could not die, and he would not die.

"I want time."

Integra said. It was the only thing she could think of doing. Asking for time to clear her head, to think without him beside her...but she wanted him beside her. No! _Get a hold of yourself! You know who you are, you place and your duty! Say you need time to think about it then never get back to it. Just marry whoever the queen sees fit, bare the damned child. Die! Die Integra. Die and old aged woman._

"I will give you as much time as you may need, but time is not likewise."

And with that Alucard sat up. He placed one more kissed upon her lips and disappeared. Integra shoved her face into her hands and began to sob. What was she to do? Defy her heart, or her country and god... God she did not want to meet him. Not yet. Not ever. She had done so much in the name of god and in so she still sinned. She still knew there was no hope for the likes of her in heaven. She lied down and rolled over onto her stomach thinking. Even if she did tell Alucard no, denied his love, and married produced an heir...Hellsing would be lost. She would die no sooner after giving birth, and her husband would take Hellsing. Hellsing's blood would vanish and...

sorry I just thought it was a good spot to end. I feel like I am losing it. Maybe I should just type these ever night instead of when I feel like typing cause the ones from the night come out better. N-e-ways hope you liked. Good day

Damien.


	6. Dreaming of you

**Here With Me**

**Dreaming of you**

"Hey Integra can you take me a bath?"

Alucard said as he walked in covered in the blood of the people he just killed. Integra was only fourteen and wouldn't look at him. She couldn't. It made her shudder when she saw him in blood. She looked away and growled.

"It's MASTER INTEGRA to you, and shut up Alucard, you are old enough to take yourself a damn ba...WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Integra shot her gaze toward Alucard as he slowly began to take off his coat. He looked down at the buttons he was undoing then at Integra. She was blushing. She noticed he looked at her and she turned away. Alucard stood there for a moment then grained a devilish grin upon his face, his trade mark grin.

"Lady Hellsing, my, my, my, I didn't think you would ever think of something such as myself stripping in front of you...that is not proper etiquette."

"ALUCARD!"

And with that a book went at his head. Alucard ducked and it hit the wall. Alucard clapped as he moved the strands of white hair from his face. He smiled and threw his coat to the floor. Integra stood and reached for her paper holder and threw it at him. She was fourteen but she packed a punch.

"Yea Alucard how bout I bathe you and rub extra hard on a certain area! Yea I'd like to see you find it after that. You big baby!"

Alucard burst into laughter. Another book flew at him. Integra growled and dove into her drawer looking for anything to throw at him. Anything that would hurt him so badly he would cry for his endless demise. She found a silver cross and jammed it in his face. Alucard stopped dead right were he was and stared at it. He fell to the floor yelling. Integra stopped she looked at him. She laughed at him for a moment.

"Quite playing."

She said. But he continued on acting like he was dieing.

"Alucard...you can stop now..."

She was now kneeling beside him with a worried look plastered on her face.

"Alucard..."

"RAH!"

Alucard scared her. She screamed and fell back her legs slamming her knees closed as she did so. Her skirt went up for a second then fell. She heaved in a breath then sat up. She grabbed the crossed and slapped him with it so hard it left an imprint.

"ALUCARD! HOW DARE YOU! YOU STUPID BASTARD OF A MAN! YOU...YOU...YOU INGRATE I...LEAVE!"

SLAP! She slapped him with it again. Alucard could not stop laughing as he crawled his way out the door. Integra sat down and crossed her legs before her. She allowed her eyes to fall into thin lines as she swore sweat fell form her brow. She lied back giving out a large sigh. What was she going to do with that damned man? She was so proper mannered, such a sweet person, then he came and he ruined it all. HE MADE HER MAD! He did everything wrong. It was him. Him. He was a bad pet.

Integra stopped thinking as she brought herself up. Maybe he wasn't so bad. He was pretty stupid, so funny to laugh at in her head. Of course to everyone else she didn't laugh. She didn't smile, she only had two emotions. Her regular look and a pissed off one she got when Alucard poked his nose around. She stood up when before she knew it the ground beneath her was taken from her. She was floating in blackness.

"Alucard!'

She called out his name. She didn't call it out because she thought it was his doing. She called it out so he'd save her. But there was no Alucard. It was only her and the darkness. Before her feet could settle on the unsettle ground she fell through. Her skirt was no longer a school skirt but her regular uniform. Her hair and everything was regular, back to her present day and now.

"Alucard!"

Integra gasped as she sat up in bed. She looked over her shoulder. The sky was getting dark with the sun barely over the horizon. She looked at herself, she was normal. It was all a dream? Was that really all? It felt more like a memory then a dream. She did remember it happening but not like that quiet exactly. She sighed. She reached for her glasses. Once on she moved the cover. When she looked at the bed she nearly jumped. There was a lump lying there beside her curled up with the covers way above head.

"Huh?"

She heard come from the lump as it moved. Integra looked at herself once more. She was wearing her pajamas with her bra and panties still on. That was a good sign no? She reached over and slowly tapped the lump while reaching under her pillow for her gun. Before she could grab the spot, a long pale arm came up from below the covers to twirl the gun on a finger.

"ALUCARD?"

She screamed.

"Huh?"

The sleepy voice came once more. She stopped. He said huh when she first looked at him. It dawned on her she called out his name as she awoke. She covered her mouth and jumped off the bed. She took the pillow and slammed it on him hard again and again and again.

It was now Alucard's turn to jump out of the bed. He looked at her shocked then ducked behind the shade of the bed. The sun was setting with still thin rays of it moving about. He hid there staying not wanting to move, but then again not wanting to be shot by Integra. She growled as she walked over. She heard the door open and looked. Walter ran in holding a gun thinking Integra was in danger for screaming. She grabbed the gun the thrusted it at Alucard but he already merged with the shadows. She called out his name threatening to fire at any moving shadow.

Integra sat on the bed. The window was open and the hot summer hair came in. She looked at the moon it was a beautiful sight, nearly a full moon. She couldn't really tell the difference. It looked full to her. She smiled and lied back. Why was he in her bed? She asked for time and then she fell asleep. Yet he was still in her bed. That was the odd part. The fact that he was still there. She sighed and rolled over. She slept for most of the day after her little fight with Alucard about him having affections for her.

He had Affections for her. That was still hard to believe. Her pet, her friend, had a crush on her. Or was it the other way around. She rolled over trying to get comfortable thinking. She, no matter how hard she tried, thought about Alucard. She slimed thinking about him. That was a bad thing. She quickly slapped herself in the face trying not to think of silly things. She had a duty to up hold to. She would tell the queen she would go to the ball and meet with whomever the queen saw fit. That was the end of it...she wished...

Integra threw herself another way again. She couldn't take it any more. She stopped and took another breath her pet, her Alucard, _her_ Alucard for _her,_ what to do with him. He was _her_s and no else's. She thought about how well she had him tamed, how well she taught him, how well he taught her. She never really looked at it but whenever he did something, she learned from it. She learned for sure never to give him a bath again. She was going to once but...after his shirt went off she ran off like a scared child and couldn't look at him straight for four weeks. She smiled. Memories were golden.

Memories. She loved her memories, especially the ones about Alucard. It was no much easier when she was child, now it was hard. Now she had to put on a front: walls. She had walls that no one could cross. No one but Alucard. He'd wonder into her dreams and toy with her like he did when she was younger. When_ she_ was younger. Alucard never aged, it was impossible. He was the undead. She commanded him and in some way was beginning to mold him into something. Or was it the other way around?

Every command to destroy, every soul he took, he took for her. Was she really the monster? Those vampire's, the killers of humanity, blood drinkers of the night, they killed off humans...and she killed off vampires. She was no better then them. She sat there, or even out on the field, with every command, every death she was no better. She was becoming a monster. Even if it wasn't killing off humans she still killed, in the name of god or not SHE STILL KILLED!

Integra sat up once more. She was shaking and she began to cough. It was a steady cough at first then it drove her into a fit. Her blood spat out into her hand. She took in a deep breath. She was dying. She could not stop that and if god help her she was dying without an heir. Hellsing would forever be lost to her. Alucard would go on, and she would be forgotten.

"Not so master."

Integra looked up. Alucard sat kneeling by her bed, hands laced before him, elbows propped him up and head leaning against his fingers. He stared at her; his big red eyes just stared at her. His hat still had not reappeared with his coat. She stared at him, shocked at first then she noticed she stopped coughing.

"Why are you here, I told you I need time."

"You need rest. I should have never brought this upon you. My silly antics, my stupidity toward things, it's my fault. I am the one driving you to an early grave, and yet you still won't allow me to atone for my sin."

Integra stopped. He was blaming this on himself? Why? What could have made him think it was his fault. She then realized whenever he got her pissed, whenever he got her mad, she was chewing on her cigar. The tobacco leaked into her mouth. She could feel it in her throat even if she hadn't smoked in two days it was there. She returned her gaze to him. He was blaming himself. Now she felt worse. She just needed a smoke. Whenever he got her mad she smoked, whenever any got her mad she smoked so he shouldn't be the one with the burden. If anything he should blame her. She knew her limits yet she exceeded them.

'Not so master?' why on earth did he say that? What was not so...HE READ HER MIND! Integra had to stop herself before her rage breached the surface and she was to strangle him. She stopped and just flinched. She thought about it. She would be forgotten and he butted in. He did not agree that she would be forgotten?

"You read my thoughts."

'You were talking out loud. I only came in here because I smelt you blood."

Alucard said. Integra stopped. He didn't read her thoughts then. Why on earth would she speak out loud? She took it she was such in a deep thought that she did. She moved her hand to push a strand out of her face but Alucard bet her to it. He pressed the hair behind her ear and stared up at her. He smiled. He was so cute without that big red hat and the over sized coat. She couldn't help but to smile at him.

"Shall I keep the maiden company, now that you are unarmed and won't shoot me?"

Alucard smirked and ruined the moment. She waited. Why had he been in her room earlier that day? She asked him. He didn't smile, he didn't change anything about his face, and with honesty in his eyes simply said when he laid her to rest she grabbed him and wouldn't let go. He didn't intend of falling asleep, but in the end he did.

Integra gave a small smile and scooted over. She lied down and stared at Alucard waiting for him. He gave a huge grin that lost its emphasis and died into a nice lovingly smile. He climbed slowly into bed beside her lying on his back. Integra sat there. Should she do something? She could still remember the times when she was child that Alucard would climb into bed with her and she would try her hardest not to snuggle against him because she thought the bad dreams would go away with just him in the room, but they didn't so she ended up waking in his arms anyways.

"Do you remember when I would climb into your coffin?'

Integra asked. Alucard now looked at her. He smiled thinking about those times. He nodded his hair brushing against his face covering one eye.

"Yea I remember. I would wake up to you barking orders in the middle of the night for me to allow you into my secret room. Then you'd get yourself in my coffin without me asking you to. You were such a brat then and you still are now."

Integra growled at him. He smiled warmly at her and cautiously rolled over so he was on his side as well and closer to her. It was funny really how she ended up crawling into his arms as they slept.

"Ow! Damn it! OW!"

Integra cursed as she held her arm. She stood there in the corner of a building. She was still very young. Maybe not that many days into fifteen. She sat holding her arm. She had been shot clean slice on the side of her arm once more. The burning pain hurt her but she would not cry, and she would not call for help. One of the solider told her to stay were she was so she did. She didn't want to die after all.

Integra stood up. She had twisted her ankle and still tried to walk. With her good arm she used the wall a crutch. She knew she was dead. She had used the last round on a bunch of ghouls that attacked her. She only had one bullet left. Great she was surely done for. Integra flinched again as a pain shot threw her arm. It was bleeding still, like mad. She gathered all her strength as she pushed open the huge metal door. Her eyes opened wide, she drew her gun and fired as something black shot at her.

"Master!"

Alucard laughed as he bent over on one knee and looked at her. There was a bullet hole threw the middle of his forehead. Of course it didn't bother him none. He have that retarded insane smiled he always had to her. His smile became an 'aw' as he looked at her bruises, her cuts, and her sprint ankle. She sighed as she fell to the ground. She couldn't hold it in. She felt the tears coming she just didn't see them.

"Stop that."

She heard Alucard say. She looked up at him, her glasses nearly falling off her nose.

"There is no reason to cry. Oh but I guess you think Hellsings cry don't' you?"

"I AM NOT GOING TO CRY! ALUCARD HELP ME UP AND GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

Alucard smiled and picked her up. He held her in one arm. It curved under her butt so she was leaning against him. He looked down at her and raised a hand slowly to her face. She stared at him the entire time. With a gloved hand he slowly brushed away the tear drop that finally fell."

"Gladly."

Sadly no stars after that dream because it was the end of the chapter. What will Integra do she is running low on time. Who knows? Maybe she'll walk up to the queen throw holy water on her and light her a flame. Dunno only wish.

Damien.


	7. Love Letter

**Here with me**

**Love letter,**

I am so proud. I have made it through to yet another chapter and I am getting reviews, ;-), bout the only thing getting me through this too. But there is also the undying urge to finish it because I just love Alucard and I think his old married couple relationship with Integra is so cute! Sometimes its bad being a girl. Oh well. Hope you enjoy!

The sun was raising over head and the room filled with light. Integra rolled over moving her arm around a lump. She smiled to herself thinking what it was but when she opened her eyes, it was just a pillow. She sat up quick. She had to stop herself from calling out Alucard's name. She looked around, the window was opened wide and the cool summer air blew in. She smiled to herself. For some reason, she wanted to smile.

Integra was about to get out of bed when the sound of paper grabbed her attention. She looked under her pillow to see an envelope. She slowly reached toward her, her fingers feeling the soft yet rough texture of parchment. She pulled it to her. The front was blank. She flipped it over to see the binding mark of alchemy that was on Alucard's glove in wax holding the envelope closed. She looked around. She thought it would best be fitted if she read it within the privacy and safety of her office.

Integra sat herself at her desk. There was a slowly knock on the door. She told Walter he could come in. thinking that it was Walter, but it wasn't. The door opened and Seras walked in. She smiled as she brought in the silver tray with Integra's morning tea on it. She placed it down.

"Where is Walter?"

Integra asked. Seras brought the tea onto her desk, then the sugar and spoon. She looked up at her.

"He has to go to the doctors to get an examine. They had been every cautious after his accident when Incognito attacked. "

"You mean the explosion?"

Integra added as Seras finished. Seras nodded as she picked the tray up.

"Alucard asked me if I would take care of some of Walter's jobs while he took him. Yes Alucard took Walter, only because there was a vampire rampaging around. Here are his reports so far."

Seras pulled the reports from under the tray and handed them to Integra. Integra couldn't help but smile. It was odd really how Seras knew what she would think. Or was it Seras who knew. Did Alucard tell Seras what he expected her to do? She shook the thoughts from her head, but the smile was still there.

Seras saw the smile. She knew what it meant. Seras bade Integra farewell and left. After closing the door behind her Seras walked down to her quarters in the sub-levels. She opened the door quietly and walked in. There on her bed was Walter curled under the blankets asleep. Seras placed a blood bag on the table then slowly walked out.

Integra looked at the letter. Carefully she opened it. Within it was another piece of parchment that seemed thicker. She reached for it and pilled it out. There was so much writing on it she was unsure if this was from Alucard or the queen. Most of Alucard's little notes were simple, a paragraph at the most. But with, this was a letter, letter.

She slowly opened it up. It was two papers written in pure English which she could read thankfully. Alucard thought it was funny once to write out his report in Romanian. Oh she got him back for that. He was not allowed a blood packet for two days. She laughed at it. Two days seemed like she re found him for how badly he over reacted.

: _My dearest Integra, right now I am off in the heart of London killing off demons known as Vampire's. Forgive me if I left your side and you awoke alone. Against my wishes, Walter thought it would be best to take care of it now, than wait till you awoke. So I fallowed out my duty, as I know you will. _

_My heart cries for you, scoff at it if you choose but a Vampire can love, and this one does. For years and years the only one who had ever stolen my heart was my wife, but even then she was not quite...how can I put this...fitting of a king. She showed emotion, she showed pity, she despised me. But you Integra Hellsing. You strike fear into anyone's heart, you are perfection at its best vampire or not. You have made it so, that even when you die, if you die, Your god forbid, but you will live on. You name, Integra Windgates Hellsing, will forever leave a mark in history. Whether it be for my idiocy in destroying the tower, or because of how well you serve your country, you will live on. Now I know you are thinking about burning this, I can see you reaching for your lighter but hear me out, please._

_Last night, I heard you say something in your dreams, and you were crying. You said you failed your father, but you have not. He should be proud of you Integra. You lost your father, then you killed your uncle and you still managed to grow up sane. You managed to grab this corporation by its loins and hold onto it with all you might, and you still are holding on to it. Vampires everywhere fear you Integra. And those fools at the Round table, who detest, loath you, loath you for they envy you. Remember that. They want to be you, to be as stunning, as cold hearted, as ruthless as you and still live on_

_I ask of you this, Integra, with all my heart that now beats, with all the words that a man could describe to his true love, will you return my love? Will you give to me your soul, you body, you heart? I have given you everything I have. My loyalty, my heart, my body everything belongs to you and you alone Integra...Do I deserve to get the same from you? I am a vampire. Your sworn enemy I know that, but I am also **your** pet, **you**r vampire, **you**r friend...I know you, you're duty you must fulfill, I know you will go to that ball and I know you will marry the man the queen chooses, but before at least give me your love. At least allow me to shower you with my love until you can no longer stand me! At least then, when you walk down that isle, you won't be sad. You will know, you know the meaning of true love._

_I asked Seras to help me find a perfect poem, and we found one. As I wrote, we...believe me or not but loving you Integra has driven me over the edge and now I am floating there on the brink of insanity waiting for you, holding out my hand for you so together we can fall and love one another forever. Because I am floating there I am driven to do so many things to get you to return your love that I am no longer the no life king Alucard, I am just plan ol' Alucard. _

_(a/n: for those who don't know this is the chorus to the song by Dido and redone by Sarah Brightman Here with me.)_

_Oh I am what I am_

_I'll do what I want_

_But I can't hide_

_I won't go_

_I won't sleep_

_I can't breathe_

_Until you're resting_

_Here with me_

_I won't leave_

_I can't hide_

_I cannot be_

_Until you're resting _

_Here with me._

_ There are boundaries we pass in spite of the war_

_But our own we can't seem to cross,_

_There are things we can change_

_If we just choose to fight_

_But the walls of injustice are high_

_(a/n: changed the lines a bit)When you pass me by you're a ray of light_

_Like the first drop of sun from the sky_

_And I know you're a queen who deserves a queen_

_Someone other than me_

_So different from me_

_And you can't be with me._

_And you can't be with me._

_(a/n: and for those who don't know this is a few lines from He Doesn't See Me, sung by Sarah.)_

_I know you're clutching the lighter in your hand, wanted, thinking if you should burn it, but at least acknowledge what I am doing, all for you. _

_Love always and forever,_

_Vlad Dracula, Alucard. _

_(a/n: okay my friend begged and begged for me to add his name Vlad Dracula, but I don't' really know if that's who Alucard is supposed to be, so don't be mad if that's not really his name. Sorry!) :_

Integra sat there speechless. She really was holding onto the lighter, but she let it fall. She just stared at the paper. Why her? So many things were being pilled onto her and she had no idea what to do with it all. Her mind was jumbled into a jigsaw puzzle and Alucard has eaten all the pieces. She had no clue what to do. Her heart cried for Alucard, her soul wanted to be forever trapped in a bind with him. Damn the Hellsing blood! She just wanted to be with him! But...then there was her duty; her duty as a woman to the Hellsing organization, her duty to her country and her duty to her queen. If she fell with Alucard, she could forever reign in the Hellsing name. She would protect her queen for as long as needed, but who would protect her from the queen. She knew very well the queen wanted all Vampires dead, if she became a vampire her, Seras and Alucard would be targets in the end.

Integra placed the paper down. She would need an heir, she could become pregnant and give the child to Alucard, have him raise it. She new she could trust him with her very life even he if toyed with the string that held it, he would never break it. She sighed. She had no idea. She leaned back reaching into her draw.

'Damn it,"

She cursed. She pulled her hand out. Alucard had taken all her cigars. She had nothing better to do then to turn to the liquor as she read his reports. She looked at the first page. He wrote that the building he was going to invade had reports about obscure sights be seen on the property. So he decided to investigate. He wrote next that when he just went for a fallow through he saw something off. It was, or seemed to be a body from one of the Knights of the Round. He didn't bother to go anywhere near it cause someone was coming.

The second report said he went back and it was gone. He could smell blood in the air, and the body still. He had a theory that there might be a vampire in one of the Round and that he would look further into it. There was also a comment added by Walter saying he felt the same as Alucard to the crime scene.

The last one was the most up to date that said Alucard went further in, he found traces of a ripped to shreds jacket form the Round. He examined it further to find out that there truly was a vampire lurking within the Round. He said he thought so because he found the financial funds that where going into rebuilding the tower and the parts of the city that were still destroyed by his recklessness. She looked at the photos that were sent in with the updates. There was a picture of the queen on a lower wall by a cot. All the pictures and information was taken from the sublevels of the building because the building itself was a baking factory.

Integra gathered up all the reports a few reports she still had not looked at and rose form her desk. She also grabbed a folder with the weapons fund from the cabinet and headed toward the library. She used her cane to climb up the steps and stopped as she neared the top. She opened the door and walked in. She stopped dead in her tracks from what she saw. Sitting at the computer was Walter in the dark looking at something. He took a glance at her stood up keeping his back to her.

Seras sat on the table across from the desk with a few books in her possession. She didn't notice until now that Integra was there. She dropped everything and jumped off the table. She looked a little suspicious. Both of them did.

"Why are you here Miss Integra?"

Seras stuttered. Integra jerked her head back a bit and raised a thin blonde brow. She eyed the two as the stood there. Walter stood in an odd way. He looked like he gave her his attention but his head faced away form her.

"I feel as though I should be asking you the same question. Especially you Walter. I thought you were out with Alucard getting your examines."

Her voice was cool and calm like a small stream. It flowed from her lips and to the air floating like a feather and then reaching their ears. Seras stopped herself from jumping back. Walter sighed a bit but did not seem to take in any air. He looked different. His hair seemed to have lost is wonderful shine and looked like a dark abyss. His hair reminded her of someone. She stared at him then it hit her. His hair was like Alucard's.

She wanted to see something now. She felt it inside her she just knew something had happened. She knew it deep inside why he was not with Alucard, why he was there, why he would not show his face and why his hair was dull. The answers resided in her but she would not believe them She stopped herself from believing.

"Walter look at me."

She said her voice with an icy tone now.

"Integra look! Alucard's next report!"

Seras shouted as it started to print itself off of the printer. Integra was distracted for a second but kept her focus. She asked Walter once more to show himself to her. But he still denied it. She stepped foreword, she reached out and grabbed his shoulder turned him so he looked right at her.

"Bloody hell."

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh can you guess what is up with Walter and his little...problem? Sorry bout the authors note in the letter. I just had some things to say that I couldn't wait to put in cause it would probably make no sense, or at least to me it didn't. I had a slight problem in the first chapters about the way her office looked. I don't quiet remember because I only watched it Sunday of last week (03/13/05) and I don't have the sires because it was my friend Zoë who made us watch it! N-e-ways so I found a picture of her office and yea now I know how it looks so I am thinking of fixing that chapter were I described it wrong. Alrighty then bye! Hope you enjoyed.


	8. As Long As You Are Happy

**Here with me,**

**AS long as it makes you happy**

"Walter look at me."

She said her voice with an icy tone now.

"Integra look! Alucard's next report!"

Seras shouted as it started to print itself off of the printer. Integra was distracted for a second but kept her focus. She asked Walter once more to show himself to her. But he still denied it. She stepped foreword, she reached out and grabbed his shoulder turned him so he looked right at her.

"Bloody hell."

Integra said plainly as she looked into Walter's eyes. They were the same crimson red of Alucard's. She took a step back. Panic raced over her but she steadied it. She kept her cool and took a deep breath in.

"Who turned you?"

She asked. Walter looked like he had done something wrong. He looked like a dog that just got caught for chewing on the master's slipper. He looked back up at her then looked at Seras. Seras looked away from him and Integra. Integra fallowed his gaze at Seras. She thought for a moment. Seras hated drinking blood would she actually do it? Especially to Walter who was like an uncle or family to her.

"I did it Sir, he wanted me to. I would have never done it if he never begged me."

Seras said, her accent was a slow and low tone. She looked at Integra with pleading eyes. She looked like she was going to cry. Integra looked at Walter for the truth. Walter nodded. She sighed. If Walter did it willingly then there was no hope in even fighting about it. What is done is done.

Integra walked passed them and sat at the computer. She reached for Alucard's next report. She slowly read it. She gave a soft smile and then it returned to normal. The report stated that Alucard loved her and some how thought she'd be the first to read it. Afterward it stated that the criminal, whoever it was, was destroying the evidence. The baking factory was set a flame. He'd be returning home.

Integra couldn't help but smile again. Home. This was his home, her home. The Hellsing property was their home. She put the paper down and began to type away at the computer. There was one name that popped into her head when she thought about financial funds for the Round; Montgomery Way. (a/n: sorry I don't know the names of the people from the round so I am improvising.)

She looked up his file and decided to have Walter hack into it. She brought up some files he had recently placed in. Most of them were to cover the damage done to London, she then crossed another. It was a medical issue. Blood packs. She raised a brow to this and printed it out. She began a new search. She knew of many kinds of vampires and there was one she was interested in talking to.

Integra finally gathered everything she needed. Walter and Seras had left and began their chores for the evening. She placed everything in a neat stack and placed them under her arm. She started for the door when she was swept into an embrace. She stopped herself from elbowing back and stomping on the grabber. She knew who it was.

"Alucard I can't...not right now. There is something I have to attend to."

Integra said. She held herself upright when she felt him plant a hot kiss on her cheek. She was opened eyed as his hand gripped around her tighter and he kissed the part of the neck he could get at that had no collar. He could still see the mark, the scar. His blood tightened when he saw it. Oh he hated that woman. That stupid vampire. Integra's blood was his and his alone! She was an idiot if she thought she could take it and live.

"That damned whore made you leave a scar."

Alucard almost cooed into his master's ear. Integra felt the chills run up her spine as she took in a breath. He kissed the scar again and slowly ran his hands up her sides. She held onto the pile of books closed to her chest, both arms wrapped tightly around them. She felt him move the collar down. His red coat began to wrap around her as he brought her to the table. He sat himself upon it and turned her around. His shadows stole away the books from her.

Alucard stared at her. Even when sitting on a table he was taller then her. He brought her into another warm embrace as he ran his hands up her back. Integra snuggled against his neck and couldn't help but close her eyes in pure pleasure. She opened them wide and pulled out of his reach,'

"This is wrong."

She said. She looked for her books.

"This is terribly wrong."

"So why does it feel so right?"

Alucard said. Integra stopped. She stared at him. For a moment, she was that same little girl who stood waiting at his wall at night, waiting for him to walk threw and pick her up in his arms and take her into his coffin were she'd be safe. But that look didn't last. Integra snapped back to herself. Her hard look already back on her face.

"Alucard where are my books?"

She said. He smiled and placed a hand out to her where he held them. Like an idiot she reached for it and he pulled her back to him. This time it wasn't for a hug but a kiss. A kiss that he brought her so close their chests pushed against one another. He had her directly under him so he had to arch to kiss her. He ran his tongue over her lips and into her mouth. Integra couldn't stand it. She hated it. He was right. The feelings she held, god she loved it all but it was wrong. She felt it was right yet it was wrong.

Integra wrapped her arms around his neck. So what if it was wrong, a woman deserved to be happy at least once in her life. Kissing him back for one long moment wouldn't kill her would it? And if it did oh well so she would die. No matter how hard she tried she was going to any ways. She pulled away slightly and looked at Alucard. He controlled the kiss. She frowned at that. She ran her hand threw his hair tore his hat from his hair and ripped his glasses off his face throwing them both aside. She drew herself into him for one last kiss. Her kiss. The one she ruled. She was the master and he was the pet.

Alucard placed his hand at her waist and picked her up onto him. She stopped then. She peeled herself from him even if it hurt to. She felt her heart cry out as if he'd been sent to another country. She stood there in plane view of him. His eyes glistened with want. He wanted her here and now but he knew she would not allow it. She barely allowed herself the kiss to be taken by him now would be going suicidal.

"I want my stack now."

She said her icy tone once more. Alucard smiled and leaned back on one arm while in the other holding her paper work. She growled at him. He saw it now. What he loved about of her. Her flame. He saw it rise as he taunted her with the reports. She lunged at him grabbing the reports and in doing so he snuck one more kiss on her lips. She pulled away as quick as she had came.

"We can't keep doing this Alucard. I know you feel for me what I you, but it isn't right. You're a..."

"A monster?"

Alucard said. His expression was blank. He felt the rising sensation within him. He wouldn't be able to look at her the same if she had said yes. The word monster seemed harsh if she described him as that. But he could still remember the horror in her eyes when she was young and he had killed off those men. He remembered how without words they cried out 'monster!' 'Vampire!' and of course, how could he forget the words she told him. Those words that made his blood boil. 'I'll never give up! I would die before giving up!' how he fell for her then and was continuing to fall.

"No. you're a vampire. You're not a monster Alucard...I...I have to leave. And don't fallow me. If I need you I will call upon you. Just because I am going through rough times does not make me any much less of your master than I am! DO YOU HEAR ME!"

Good old Integra was back. She was yelling her head off at Alucard. He smiled. He loved it. Every moment of being yelled out. He sighed with great comfort as she turned and began to walk away. How could he ever dream of making her his equal? She had no equal. Even he had to admit to that.

Integra stormed out of the library. She stalked to her office throwing everything in it and then returning to her room. She walked straight to her closet. She pulled out a beautiful blue suit. It was her knight's of the round table suit that she got for being a noble member. She was the youngest, but probably the brightest. It was her weak point yet her advantage. They would always rub it in her face but she new they envied her.

After showering Integra placed the outfit on. She tied her sliver pin on her dust ruffle and examined herself in the mirror. She would meet with the queen and the queen only. She slowly grabbed her stuff. She spoke into the intercom calling into Walter's room. He answered. She asked him if the car was ready. He said yes. Sighing once more Integra made her way out the door.

Alucard sat in his room taking apart and then resembling his gun. His hat and glasses were on the table in front of him. He placed the last part into his gun then turned it and fired it at the wall. He smiled as he shot a spider. He stood up starting to take off his jacket. It was boring but he didn't want to leave. If anything he only wanted to leave to go pay a visit to Integra who he knew left. He sighed. Would he ever get her? Of course he was Alucard the no life king...yet she was Integra Hellsing. She was on a higher level then he was. She was the highest level possible and still climbing.

Of course being a man (or close enough), listening to her bark orders at him, keeping him under _her _control made his...to be frank, loins crawl with delight. He felt it every time she yelled, every time she gave an order, he'd prefer to be yelled at by her then be placed in the heat of battle. Oh the heat of battle. There was one battle he would give anything to experience. The battle between them. As there bodies would collide he'd give anything to be in that. But of course even after fighting so long, he'd retreat like the good pet he was and obey his master's orders.

_His master_'s orders. He loved to say it, and he loved to hear her remind him. He was _her _pet whether he liked it or not. In this case he enjoyed it very much so. He stood up out of the chair he was sitting in. All this thinking about Integra made him hungry. He started walking toward the door and turned walking into the wall and disappearing.

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(A/N: THE W'S R MY LIE BREAK SIGN I GUESS)

Integra walked into the building, her hair neatly pulled up and back with her bangs still in her face. She sighed as she walked in. With a white gloved hand she rubbed the bridge of her forehead. She rolled her eyes as she moved the rubbing to her temple. Seras came running down the steps and stopped in front of Integra.

"How'd it go?"

She asked like a hyper little girl. Integra smiled and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Let's just say you are lucky the queen thinks you dress too much like a girl."

And with that Integra began for her office. Seras watched her as she walked up the steps. She took in the queen made her dress, or at least look like a girl for once in her life. Seras shook her head. She didn't see why Sir Integra never dressed feminine; she was really, really pretty. Seras blushed when she thought about Integra in a skin tight ruffled dress. She shook her head.

"I'll leave thoughts like those to Alucard,"

Seras sighed.

"_And you can leave thoughts of you to me._"

Seras blushed as she heard Pip talk to her. She continued toward her room trying to ignore the images that started to come to her mind.

Integra opened her office door. She shut it and began to take off the jacket. Her white shirt beneath it was even more feminine then she wanted. She hated it. The queen gave her something more to put on then just her regular shirt. She felt it. It was really soft and nice. She sat on her desk as she reached for a cup of tea. She guessed someone had left it there for her because it was still warm.

Integra brought the cup to her lips half way but put it down. She grabbed a report she brought in with her. She opened it and looked over some things she wrote down. She used the ball and marriage conversation to get what she wanted about Montgomery Way and in turn got a little more about Sir Isaac Burlington. She sighed as she ran her hand over a picture of the palace with the two men in front of it. She noticed something. If the men had been vampires why had she not seen the eyes? Walter's eyes, Seras's eyes, and even Alucard's eyes were red, so why weren't any of the member's eyes red.

Integra sighed. Now she really needed the drink. She placed the reports back down and leaned back on one hand while using the other to bring the cup up once more. She placed the rum of the cup against her lip but before she could drink a hand cupped hers. She opened her eyes wide but panic and anger left her as she saw the gloved hand and black arm. She felt his other arm snake around her waist and pull her closer to him.

"Who said the tea was yours? I brought it in for myself."

Alucard whispered into her ear. Integra closed her eyes. She smiled as she raised a brow and looked back over her shoulder at him.

"Well isn't that very selfish of you Alucard?"

She said. Alucard laughed and brought the cup up to her lips. He slowly purred it into her mouth and then pulled it away. Before she could swallow he spun her around and kissed her. She passed some remains of the tea to him. He pulled away a bit and stared at her. She looked at him with seductive eyes.

"Remove your hand from my arse Alucard...and I won't decide to shoot _it_ off."

Alucard laughed as he glared lovingly at her. He had his hand on her butt but as he did that she pulled out her gun and pointed it at his crotch. They were even. Alucard let go but Integra didn't give up the gun. She had it under his chin. She smiled at him, leaned forward and kissed him.

"Sit."

She said. Alucard looked at her as if she was crazy but still did it. He didn't exactly get what he was aiming at. She threw the report in front of him and told him to read it. He sighed wishing she would have at least taken the kissing a bit further but it was Integra not much to expect from her but getting your crotch shot off.

Alucard read threw her research. He placed the paper down and nodded his head. She pointed out clearly non of them had red eyes and the try had been going on for a while. Alucard was like herself puzzled. That was when Integra told him about a friend she met on the way over to visit the king. His name was James Nicholas Nefente. He was not from around London. He had crossed from France. It was odd though because he was a vampire.

Alucard laughed now. He remembered Nicholas; he called him a fool once or twice. Nicholas was no real vampire in Alucard's eyes. He did not feed on blood but the energy from humans. The humans give off a wave of spirit energy which allowed them to move eat and do everything and anything it is that a human does. But what Nicholas did was feed off of it. It could kill humans just as if he where drinking their blood but he rarely did that.

"He thinks it's a puppeteer who is the one responsible for it. He said a spiritual vampire could posses his victim and cause him to do things if he willing."

Integra said.

"It would make sense because their eyes are regular, but come on, you believe that fool?"

"He is not a fool Alucard. I think Nicholas is right and you can believe him or not but you will not harm a head on any of the Round table's Knights! No matter what!

Integra growled at him. She stood beside him staring down at the paper at the picture of the two. All of a sudden she was lying with her back against Alucard's lap. He leaned over her, his lips barely touching hers, his nose snuggling against hers.

"And what about you miss Hellsing, my master. What if I were to run my hands threw this beautiful hair."

Alucard cooed to her. Integra rolled her eyes. Although she enjoyed it there was something amiss and he had no reason to be all over her. He needed to be talking it over with Nicholas to figure out how to stop the mad man who ever was responsible. She told him to let her up. He did not. She growled this time. She pushed herself up but Alucard held her arm and pulled her back down. She stared into his eyes now. They were so kind and playful.

"Bad. Let go."

She said coldly. Alucard did just as she said even if it kind of hurt the way she talked to him as if he was a bad dog. He kind of liked it too. He watched her as she stood up and brushed off her pants. She reached for the cup of tea once more. She looked at Alucard as she did so.

"What are you looking at?"

She asked.

"And angel."

Was Alucard's response with a wide grin. He looked slyly at her. She placed the cup down and turned to him. She was getting irritated with him.

"Look here, I think you should have at least been born a fox since you're such the 'sly devil' and all, but Alucard we have something in our hands now and we must deal with it above all things. Our little problem is going to have to wait. We need to..."

"Wait? Integra you are talking about a life changing matter how can you let something like that wait? So let me guess at this one. You are going to have me wait out until you get married, until you have your 'heir' and then on your death bed you'll confess you love to me? No you wont even then will you? You will forever deny it wont you?"

Alucard sat. He felt his anger in him but he would not show, not in front of Integra no matter how mad she got him. She laughed and threw her hands up in the air turning from him. She turned back and slammed her palms down hard on the table spilling the tea onto the floor. She grabbed the papers and began to laugh as she yelled at Alucard.

"You see these Alucard? This is my sworn duty as a Hellsing. You might say fuck the name what it is in a name? Recite Shakespeare for all I give a damn but bloody hell Alucard this is what I have given my life into. If I can not love the one I want to love then I wont if it is for the sake of my country and queen. You might say damn that queen to hell but so are you Alucard. You are forever damned. You want to hear it! Fine listen as I say it Alucard. I LOVE YOU! Happy now? I swear you are a bloody child ALCUARD!"

Integra yelled at him. She was so close to him. Her face was centimeters from his. Her eyes were burning with that fire that gave Alucard so many delighted feelings. He growled in his throat. His hunger twisted his stomach. He wanted her now. He waned to grab her, to fulfill her every wish, to take her away where she could live how she wanted to, not the queen or her father no one else but her. The way life intended it. He would leave her to do what ever she wanted, as long as it made her happy.

As long as it made her happy. Alucard looked down from her. He felt a lump in his throat. He choked on it but didn't show it. AS long as it made her happy he would do what ever. AS long as she was happy, so was he. He enjoyed their little fights and quarrels but this...this one was different. He reached up and placed his hand on her face. She was crying now. He took it she didn't notice but he could see it. It wanted to fall but it lingered.

"Fine." Alucard started. He took in what would be a deep breath. Integra waited. She felt her chest heave. "If you want me to pay attention to my work, my _duty_ I will. If you want me to stop chasing you around like a lost puppy dog I will. If you want to live your life out fulfilling your duty then do as you please. I won't stop you. AS long as you are happy, then so am I. Does this make you happy Integra? Being cooped up behind your desk, working constantly sacrificing everything for them and never you? Does this make you happy!"

Alucard was nearly yelling now but he held it in the best he could.

"Yes Alucard! Other wise...I...It's my duty whether it makes me happy or not! Yes I love being cooped up behind my desk. Yes I love risking me life your life, my men's life for that bitch. Yes ALUCARD I DO!"

The tear fell. Alucard wiped it away and stood up. Integra felt hurt. She felt Alucard's pain. She saw in his eyes the disappointment she was to him. He'd been willing to sacrifice everything for her, yet she would not even give up a few seconds for him. She felt more tears fallow after that. But Alucard was not there to whip them away. He was walking away from her. His red coat was not there to sway behind him like his shadow.

"Alucard!"

She called out to him quietly. She clenched her fist as she closed her eyes. The tears were falling hard now. They hit her glass lens and trailed down. She heard Alucard mutter something.

"As long as you're happy I wont invade you life any more."

Integra opened her eyes wide and turned. She reached out for Alucard as her tears flew from her face. Her hair swung up with her but Alucard seemed so far. He seemed so out of reach to her. No matter how many times she cried out his name, or how loud it seemed he was to far to hear.

"Wait! Alucard!"

"I've already heard what you wanted me to hear Integra. I understand now. I guess I was wrong. Maybe you didn't love me. Maybe it was just a 'family' drawn affection."

"Alucard!"

But it was to late. He had already walked threw the wall. She dropped herself in her chair. What had she done? It was over now. How could he ever forgive her? She toyed with his emotions like he did her life, but she toyed like a careless child and she watched in horror as the string slowly broke and fell. She had watched if fall form the beginning but all she did was stand there. She dug her head into her arms and sobbed.

Why did she persist on it? Her duties, her blood the queen. She could have given it all up. She would live long enough to watch her kids grow, she would see so many things and so many places, with him. With Alucard. But she wondered if he could even look at her now. How could she drive him away. It was true. She did love him...she just wouldn't allow herself to even think it was true.

"Father...what do I do?"

Integra cried.

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Poor Integra. She doesn't get a break. I feel so evil now. I was hoping it would be more tragic and tearful but it wasn't I cried when I wrote it though, not something to be proud of but I saw it exactly as it was happening like if I was watching it. One of the good things about being the authors. I hope you guys could see it too,

Damien.

p.s. out of no where on the radio right now the Reason by Hoobastank is playing. Ha-ha I find hat hilarious. Sorry me and my stupidity. ;-P


	9. Why Me

**Here with me**

**Why Me**

_Why me? Why did Alucard have to become infatuated with me? Why did I have to be so cruel. Why did I have to take on the part of HELLSING!_ Integra questioned her mind as she dug her head deeper into her arm. She sat back. Her hair was a mess. Strands tangled with strands and lunged behind her. Even her bangs were behind her head now. Her shirt was open down to her collar bone or maybe button more. Her pants where sagging down a bit and felt weird.

Integra reached for her drawer. Damn Alucard he had taken every single last cigar. How would she calm her nerves now? She had run out of liquor in her office already. She growled to herself as she brushed her hands on her desk. She swiped everything off of it now. She leaned forward and began to cry again. All this she didn't get. She had been brought up to hard as a child and now no longer wanted to fall in love. Time when she was a little girl even if her father still told her the business comes first, she still remember dreaming of her prince charming. She smiled as she remembered thinking about her knight in shining armor. She found her knight alright. Her endless dark night with the many red eyes that held her in his dark embrace. He was evil itself yet she loved everything about him.

Integra looked up at the picture of her father. Her father would have had him locked up again if he was alive to see the things he did to his daughter. The passionate kisses, the strokes of his hands. Oh she loved them all as being a woman. She sighed. What was there to do? Surely he saw the hurt look in her eyes like she had seen in his. Oh that look? She had never seen Alucard look so hurt. She remembered he was a bit disappointed once, when he had brought to her police girl and she got mad at him for it. She felt his expression change to a slight frown but that was the closest thing.

Pushing off her desk Integra reached into her draw once more. She pulled out of it a silver sharp letter opener. The moon light shined off of it hurting her eyes. She flinched at the pain and put the opener down. Integra slowly took her glasses off and placed them on her desk. She reached back for the letter opener. She laughed as she felt the cool touch from the blade on her wrist.

Her laugh started as a small chuckle but it moved into a loud laugh. She was either laughing because she thought she had jumped without Alucard and was falling into insanity or because it was funny. She was laughing because it was funny. It was funny how she, the great Sir Integra Windgates Hellsing was failing everything. She was failing her father, her friends, her corporation. Everything was falling around her as she sat their on her high horse still barking out order.

She had failed so much she was resulting to suicide to fix it all. Ha! That was a load of crap. Suicide her? What noble woman would commit to such a sin? She started laughing hysterically now. She took it someone heard because there was a knock on her door. She ignored it and took the opener. She slowly brought it down on her wrist. :SLIT: blood slowly seeped from the wound. She brought it up to her mouth and slowly licked it. She felt nothing special. Why was Alucard so in love with her blood?

_Maybe It was never the blood._ Integra stopped. _Maybe it was a cover up. No. Alucard is that clever, but he would never do such a thing...would he? _Integra's thoughts were interrupted as she felt a sudden pain. She watched as the drapes closed around her. She was stunned a bit. She didn't think she had cut that deep. SHE CUT! What was she doing? Everything seemed like she didn't know what she was doing but yet she was still doing it. Why did she cut herself? Oh yes now she remembered. She did it to see how it felt, to try to escape the pain.

Integra shot her gaze up as a shadow loomed over her. She felt herself being pushed hard against the chair. She felt her breath coming in short paints. She thought it was Alucard, or at least she hoped it was.

"Alucard, get off of me! Now!"

She yelled, but her voice was loosing its strong hold and was slowly failing her. There was no answer from the black figure. She felt them press harder onto her chest. She wanted to scream out in pain but did not. She felt hands roam over her. They where rough and didn't feel like Alucard's. Maybe it wasn't Alucard. She tried her hardest to push the figure off but she began to feel weak,

"ALUCARD!"

She roared out with her last ounce of strength. If the shadow looming over her could laugh it would have snickered at her. It would have made her beg for mercy. But a smile managed to cross her face. She would not be the one to beg for mercy. A gun shot rang out in the darkness. Integra fell off the chair and slumped limply upon the floor. The shadow was blown threw the head with a bullet but it didn't hit Integra.

The shadow didn't scream but a low ear piercing ring was heard as blue light shot form it and it vanished. Integra knew instantly what that shadow was but she felt far too weak to even open her eyes once more. She heard her name being called but she didn't know who it belonged to. She tried to open her eyes but her vision was blurred as she saw it red. Red. She felt her heart skip but she wasn't for sure who it was. She felt a sudden pain in her arm.

Her cut! It never stopped bleeding! Was that why she felt so weak? No it couldn't be. She had slowly killed herself. Her body felt light all of a sudden. Like she was flying threw air. She allowed her body to float. Cool water rushed around her as a cool breeze ran over her skin that was outside the water. Her skin grew goose bumps. She smiled in delight. She found herself sitting in a chair on the balcony of an ever better view then her Hellsing house. The air was thick but cool. It was hot and the moon showed bright. IT was a summer night. She leaned back into someone's embrace. She saw the black arms snake around her body. How she wanted to tell him she was sorry. She turned to do so but was caught up in his arms. She snuggled against his neck as he did hers. She sighed in relief as she felt the hot kisses reach up her collar bone to her neck then below her jaw. He went back down. That's when she felt the pain. He bit into her neck. She slowly called out his name but her voice failed her. She felt her world blur as her life was being drained out of her.

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"AH!" she cried out as she opened her eyes. She was sitting in her room with an IV to her arm and a blood pack to the other. She leaned her head back as she heard the soft sounds of the heart machine and breathing machine. She looked around. Her body felt sore. It was dark in her room. Her drapes were shut tight so she had no clue what time it was. She felt dizzy for a second but it all was cured. Her vision was blurry, her glasses were gone. She tried to look down at herself in her bed. She was propped up on white pillows and the covers were pulled up a little more then her waist.

"You're up."

The voice rang. Integra felt the urge to cry out for him but she didn't. She saw Police girl sitting beside Alucard in the two chairs by her bed. She nodded. Her throat felt rare she thought she could speak. She looked down at her mouth. There was a tube going in. She coughed now that she realized it. She started coughing hard. Alucard was the first to stand up. He placed a hand behind her back and the other on her chest. She took in a deep breath.

"Hold it in."

He said. She did so and he pulled the tube form her mouth. She leaned forward and coughed more while trying to get her hands to move to caress her neck. It failed. Her arm felt dead. It hurt and tingled. Alucard stayed beside her. He pulled the cord from on her bed and placed it on the machine.

"What...argh...happ..ened?"

She coughed. Her voice was hoarse and her throat dry. She felt her tongue beginning to melt as she tried to speak with no saliva. Alucard pushed her down gently bended over. He brushed the bangs from her face and kissed her forehead.

"Don't talk, don't move. Just relax."

She felt the tremble in his voice.

"The time before, I knew you'd make it. I knew why you had done it. This time...if...I...I never thought you would take your own life!"

He said his voice trying to stay calm. Integra lied there. She stared up at the ceiling. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him everything was okay. She needed to. But she couldn't. Not while attacked to the machines. Alucard pulled away mumbling sorry. He turned and whispered something to Seras. Seras nodded. She told Integra she was happy she was awoken and alive and then she left. Integra stared at the back of Alucard. She looked back down at her machines.

_Damn this all to hell! Who do they think they are! I am INTEGRA HELLSING! I Will not sit back in bed while I now things are happening! I will not!_ Integra cried in her mind. She brought her arm that she could feel over and ripped out the needles in her other arm. she gasped in pain as she did so. She reached for the other arm and pulled those out as well. Alucard turned around quickly. He tried to stop her but she wouldn't. She told him to stay were he was.

Integra reached for the needle in her neck then the heart monitor on her finger. Finally she withdrew the blood pressure arm holder and pulled the sheets off of her. She lied there in a nurse gone. She grabbed hold of the sheets and pushed herself to sit up.

"Integra what are you doing!"

Alucard franticly said trying to get her to stop. Integra shook her head. She peeled herself off of the bed and swung her legs over the side. She cried out in pain as she felt the air being pushed out of her. She jerked her head back then moved forward as she slid herself off the bed. She fell on her legs but used the bed to pull herself up. Alucard watched in horror but it soon became his love.

Alucard reached over and pulled her to him. She felt the sudden jerk but her body welcomed it. He wrapped her in a warm embrace her as legs trembled below her. She fought for her balance and the right to her body. She felt sore, her throat was raw and her head spun, but she would not give up.

"Help me to my office!"

She barked order with a sore throat. She reached for it and flinched in the pain. Alucard looked at her. She stared up at him with a determined look in her eyes.

"NOW ALUCARD!"

She yelled at him. Her throat threatening to give out on her. Alucard nodded and picked her up in his arms. He held her there for a moment. She looked so worn out, but it was no time to sit back and watch as everything she worked so hard to achieve and protect was ruined right before her eyes. Alucard bent down and kissed her. This time, though Integra grabbed his shirt collar and deepen the kiss. She pushed him back and glared at him. With a smile Alucard walked down the hall and back to her office.

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Strong willed and strong minded. No wonder Alucard loves her. I kinda took what she did from a movie I saw once, but Integra is a determined woman i am sure she could have done that too if she wanted.


End file.
